*sigh* I need to find time to post more hun? My life is pretty overwhelming lately.. took a job half an hour a way that takes up 9 hours of my time five and a half days a week. Its not pretty. Im very lacking of time to do much of anything interesting, hence I have very little to comment on outside of my foster kitties My dream log has also been pretty dead lately as well.. although I had a few doozies last night.. I know why a couple of them happened, but not the others. the shark dream came from CSI Miami that I watched last night. My whole dramatic morning to get to work is a different story. Im sure part of it came from yesterday.

I took yesterday off from work to spend with my mother. Her mother died on 11/22. It was very late in the day, and technically it was the 23rd where she was (nana lived in England) Mom is totally fine with it. totally. its scarey. Although by her words, she hasn't been a part of the family for 30 years.. but still. its your mother... you'd think she's have some emotion about it. Well ok.. she has some, guilt of taking time off from her job. a few people called while I was over there yesterday, and she kept explaining how her mother wasn't doing well, and how she'd keep telling people she was fine, and my mother would keep imitating nana's shakey voice when she'd protest about going to the doctor.

So I took the day off to be with her.. that and I really wanted a day away from work (see the 9 hour day thing) I show up having been invited over to bake cookies, and I spend the first hour or so watching her iron.. yes iron tshirts. Im having a hard time telling if my mother was just in denial, or if she's just being the woman Ive always known her to be. My mother is a little off to begin with. Ive never been her biggest fan. Oil and water the two of us are. At least she's no longer belittling me when I go visit.. so that's something.

We decided to make cream puffs instead of cookies. My dad got home and loved the cream puffs but was disappointed he didn't have cookies :). We then had the discussion of what one wants done with their bodies once they die - they both want to be cremated. Dad said he wanted to be put in the same urn as mom. Aren't they obnoxious? Im sure you dear reader, think its sweet they are still in love after all this time. but me.. just makes me want to hurl. Probably cause I am so like my father, and I can't stand my mother, so it just freaks me out that he can.

I came home to take a nap.. half way through my nap I hear banging. I make nothing of it cause the kitties aren't reacting to it, but after a few more bangs, I get up and find my father is fixing our porch. He was supposed to come over after dinner, but decided to just show up and fix it. He's odd like that. Then after dinner we went to my sil's to trim her cat's claws. Smokey is double pawed, and one of the inner claws had gotten too long for them to clip. It had just started to be imbedded. *sigh* If you can't take care of your kitty, you really shouldn't have one..

Well.. its almost 7am.. I have to leave at 7:15.. Im sitting here in my undies, with hair that hasn't been combed.. covered in kitty, I really should get my tushie in gear..
anyone know where the start button is?

"A Piece Of Cake"

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve
this," or, "Why did G-d have to do this to me."
Here is a wonderful explanation!

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is
going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend
broke up with her and her best friend is moving
away. Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake
and asks her daughter if she would like a snack,
and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love
your cake."

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.
"Yuck" says her daughter.
"How about a couple raw eggs?"
"Gross, Mom!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking
soda?"
"Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the Mother replies: "Yes, all those things
seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put
together in the right way, they make a wonderfully
delicious cake!

G-d works the same way. Many times we wonder
why He would let us go through such bad and difficult
times. But G-d knows that when He puts these things
all in His order, they always work for good! We just
have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make
something wonderful!

G-d is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every
spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you
want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the
universe, and He chose your heart.

I hope your day is a "piece of cake!"

so. Ive taken to walking around the block at work during my lunch hour. Yes.. I get an hour for lunch, and Im 30 minutes away from home, so there isn't much for me to do. It is about a 10 -15 minute walk depending on how fast Im going.

So Ive been walking.. and its usually sunny out so me and my very sensitive eyes are usually looking at the ground as I go.. and I have to tell you I've seen some pretty odd things on the ground. Its a small little triangle of a block.. two roads aren't used much, the third is route one. Not much on the block, but a house and an antique shop. On the corner there is a couple of convenience stores. My first time around the block I notice all the usual side of the road junk, the 1000 cigarette butts, the coffee cups, the used scratch tickets... but there have been some odditites. some more so than others. There was the bunge cord - the kind that you use to secure your trunk when you can't shut it all the way. There was the small wicker basket. then there was the dead woodchuck.. who looked like he crawled up to the side of the road and died. the piece of a bank one credit card. There was a quarter... the four kittens (that someone dumped in front of the clinic and didn't put them in a carrier so they ran off into the field next to the clinic). then there was the piece of raw broccoli.

would really like to know the story behind the broccoli..

from the AP:

VATICAN CITY (AP) - A senior Vatican official who watched clips from Mel Gibson's controversial film "The Passion" offered enthusiastic praise Saturday for what he saw, despite concerns from Jewish groups that the movie will promote anti-Semitism.

Many conservative Christians say the unreleased film powerfully depicts the last 12 hours of Jesus' life. But Jewish leaders say the work suggests Jews were responsible for the death of Christ, and could trigger anti-Semitic attacks.


all I have to say is.. WELL DUH! the jews were responsible for the death of Christ.. but it was almost 2000 years ago, and it was part of God's plan.. now wasn't it..

I had a dream this morning that I woke up, was getting ready for work, and turned on the tv, and the macy's thanksgiving day parade was on... and I still had to go to work. Get the feeling that I don't want to be working this holiday season.. I do.

Ive been dreaming a lot about kittens too. Aadly I don't remember much of it so I can't put it in my dream blog, but it usually freaks me out. one I do remember is some grey tiger kittens escaping the kitten room, and wrestling with my own kitties. *sigh*

I do not want to go to work this morning.. help

so what is going on with blogger? past couple of times Ive gone to blog its been down. How strange is that?

well anyway.. lets see.. august 9th hun? what's been going on since then? Not a whole heck of a lot. I did win another prize from the radio station I listen to. The first time I won two rounds of golf for the hubby at a ritzy country club.. he was quite chuffed. Then I won two tickets to the local wine and cheese show thrown by the local grocery store. I really wanted to go, but I wasn't about to shell out the $30 per ticket - since I don't drink. I won tickets to go on thursday, and I had to work on thursday till 6, about 45 minutes away.. and it only went from 4-7. So we "crashed" on friday, and they let us in. Had a few cheeses I was currious about, some I didn't like, a few I loved. Im very much going to start looking for them in the stores.

We are starting to look into the basics of redoing the downstairs bedroom/bath combo that we've been dreaming about since we built the house a few years ago. We went to one ritzy place and she said her average bathrooms run about 30k. and that's just for the bathroom.. Going to have to find someone else. .. possibly do a lot of it ourselves, cause I was hoping to get it done for around 10 - 15k.

Ive also been an ebay fool lately.. got a couple of cute things.. oh speaking of which I got two packages today I have yet to open. It started by trying to find cute cat scrubs for work... then our remote control extender stopped working *looks at kitty who knocked it off the shelf* then I found a three year old annual magazine, so I searched to see if anyone was selling last years or this years.. and I found a cute dress. there was an absolutely adorable cat condo which I didn't buy

Ive also gotten a couple of things from some of the internet sites I signed up with.. Gotten a box of ceral and some coffee from a survey site.. gotten some gift certificates from Milesource and Memolink. I just love getting things in the mail.. well things that aren't bills.. lol.

Well I really should get off my butt and clean this house.. I have GOT to just get out a big trash can and heave a ton of stuff. Shuld get myself on that new TLC show, clean sweep.. but I highly doubt they'll do my whole house :)

blah blah blah.. how borring is this blog anyway? geeze. of course Im pretty borring at the moment. Still not a whole heck of a lot going on in my life.. there is work.. there is kittens.. I read the first three harry potter books the other day.. not bad. Im surprised how close the movies were to the book. I was bored a little while ago and started surfing ebay.. you know.. they really need a random auction search. Im sure there is a ton of great stuff for sale on ebay, but I couldn't think of much of anything to look for.. so I quickly gave up.. although I did find the low carb pasta I was looking for.

this summer has been really weird.. it never really has gotten to be "summer" as one would think of it. it was cold.. then it was rainy.. then it was warm and rainy.. then it was muggy and foggy.. we had maybe a handful of nice days and now its august.. and we aren't expecting any sun till wednesday.. Im not a summer girl myself.. the fair skin and red hair cause me to be fearful of the sun.. but the lack of sun has made the pool very cold.. Ive only been in it once, and I got out rather quickly.

what also has been hard is that Ive been saving all my pennies for the home remodling job we've got in mind. When we built the house five years ago, we planned to put in a bedroom/bath downstairs.. Closing in on the halfway mark for the funds to do it now.. we also have the sink and the flooring for the bedroom. Going to put in radient floor heating.. will be nice. We couldn't start while we had foster kittens... and they'll be going back monday.. so soon there after we'll be ripping out the carpet.. which is beyond nasty. Too many kitties throwing up on it... and then there was that issue with the tub leaking, so Im sure its covered with mold. I can not wait to get that out of here.

I really need to get off my duff sometime soon and clean this house.. there is a bunch of stuff I can throw out.. its just so hard to do.. Ive got that little voice in my head that whines.. but what if you neeeed it later on.. (how many times have I said this before.. trust me.. one of these days it IS GOING TO HAPPEN.. [yea.. right])

You are the Minister of Silly Walks


What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs,
they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love,
they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts
or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's
in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It
means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and
speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for
myself instead of being everyone's maid.

It means I have the courage and strength to
allow myself to be who I truly am and won't
become anyone else's idea of what they think
I "should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong
with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner
flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold
within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes
me a bitch, so be it.

In G~d We Trust" ("borrowed" from http://www.jokedujour.com/)

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband
were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's
employer's home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous
about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with
a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more
than her house. The first day and evening went well,
and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse
into how the very wealthy live.

The husband's employer was quite generous as a host,
and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew
she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this
kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself
immensely. As the three of them were about to enter
an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was
walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He
stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for
a long, silent moment. Arlene wondered if she was
supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the
ground except a single darkened penny that someone
had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the
man reached and picked up the penny. He held it up
and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had
found a great treasure. How absurd! What need
did this man have for a single penny? Why would
he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her.
Finally, she could stand it no longer. She causally
mentioned that her daughter once had a coin
collection, and asked if the penny he had found had
been of some valuable. A smile crept across the
man's face as he reached into his pocket for the
penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen
many pennies before! What was the point of this?

"Look at it." He said. "Read what it says."
She read the words "United States of America."
"No, not that; read further."
"One cent?"
"No, keep reading."
"In G~d we Trust?"
"Yes!"
"And?"

"And if I trust in G~d, the name of G~d is holy, even
on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription.
It is written on every single United States coin, but we
never seem to notice it! G~d drops a message right
in front of me telling me to trust Him! Who am I to
pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if
my trust IS in G~d at that moment. I pick the coin up
as a response to G~d; that I do trust in Him.. For a
short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I
think it is G~d's way of starting a conversation with
me; lucky for me, G~d is patient and pennies are
plentiful!"

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on
the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized
that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about
things I cannot change. I read the words, "In G~d We
Trust," and had to laugh. Yes, G~d, I get the message.
It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number
of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies
are plentiful...

And G~d is patient...

to quit my job, or to not quit my job.. that is the question..

I had a really lousy day on friday due to the boss man being out and there not being as much work to do so there was more interpersonal interaction going on, and this caused me to be more aware of a certian person's grating on my nerves.. I was down to two on friday.. the boss man is out all next week as well.. so hopefully I can build up another nerve or two for her to grate on by monday (yea right) so it wont get down to the last one..

*imagines water and duck backs*

I have a todo list today.. its not very long, but each item is time consuming. I can't seem to get started on them. I need to exercise, I need to tend to my own kitties, and the fosters, and go to the greek festivel, and do some grocery shopping. I really want to get to the fabric store as well, but Ive been wanting to do that for weeks, and I never think of it when Im actually in town. Since Im working saturday, I'll have thursday morning off.. maybe I can get off my duff and do it then.. but what I really want to do is go back to sleep.

*sigh*

I think I need a new lay out for the blog as well. Something not so heavy. I love the polar bears, but it just isn't working for me any more. Maybe I can find a different polar bear background that's more white.. *shrugs* maybe I'll just go with daisies or faeries or something silly.

sometimes the stupidest stuff gets to me. I was driving home from work with the top down.. (I have a seabring) and before I left the parking lot I made sure anything that could blow away was secure. Well I didn't do a very good job, because somewhere over the town line, my travel pillow flew out of the backseat and landed in the middle of the turnpike. I tried to tell myself I didn't care, cause I never use it... but it is/was made of a soft fabric and I liked it, so I decided to get back on the turnpike, drive back down to the other exit and back up to where I lost it. well I couldn't find it.

and now Im all bummed.

what's with me?

anyway.. work is slowly getting better. Im not listening to bev when she tells me to do something. She threw my empty bottle of soda away today... which got my goat.. cause a) its recyclable and b) I recycle them by reusing them myself.. so it was in no way trash... I just grrr'ed in side my head and grabbled the bottle out of the trash and put it in my locker. (the trash only had paper in it) I just really can't stand her. she surfs the net, and brings stuff in that she finds that she thinks is horribly funny.. well its all stuff Ive seen two years ago and about 100 times since then.. ... so to me she's the kind of person who forwards you those silly emails they get. they just annoy the living daylights out of you. Hopefully she'll get so annoyed with the boss sooner rather than later and quit.. I totally see that happening as she bitches about him all the freakin time.

I'll probably post a few more times about how she annoys me and then I'll be able to get past it all and ignore all the stupid annoying things she does..

Ive only been working a couple of months and I already need a vacation. *rolls eyes* but on the bright side Ive saved quite a bit of money for the new bedroom/bath we are planning on doing.at this rate we should be able to complete the whole thing by christmas.. paid for in cash :D

Ive started reading The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon. I haven't picked up a book in that series for a long while, but its like sitting down with an old friend.. its nice. I'll be sad when its over cause the next one isn't out yet. I have GOT to learn to not start a series of books till they have all been written. Im no good at this unfinished story thing... I waited five years for the next book by jean auel.. I'll probably end up waiting 10 for the next one - God willing.. *rolls eyes*.. its probably why I haven't started the harry potter books.. although it looks like I'll be reading those soon as well.

well I really need to get off my duff and exercise and take care of kitties, but Ive been so extremely tired lately I think I'll skip exercising (once again) and go to bed very early..

you know.. a while back I said to myself.. what is the friggen point of posting.. (those blue periods are a bitch) then I reminded myself I post not for any readers, but for myself, as a journal. I love to write, and I enjoy going over my history from time to time. So I was going to make it a point to write more (I do write more often in the kitten blog, but that's just kitten stories.. ) .. but I haven't. I don't know why. I think of things to comment on as Im driving into work.. but I never remember them long enough to actually blog about them.

I am finally getting into the swing of things in regards to the job. Im finally able to not have my legs scream in pain, and not NEED to go to sleep immediately after dinner. Im still tired a lot, and there just isn't any time to my day.. I have a nine hour work day (I do get an hour off for lunch but big woop. I have to be away from my house for those nine hours) and I have a 40-45 minute commute.. longer if those people from away who don't know how to drive are around. so that's a ten to eleven hours just for work. then you count in my eight hours (if Im lucky) of sleep, and the time i have to spend taking care of the foster kittens.. the eating, the 40 minutes of exercise (again if Im lucky) the getting dressed, the shower, the checking of email.. there just wasn't enough time in my life.. which was another reason why I was going to quite my job. There were a ton of reasons, but yet I haven't. I hate to fail. I don't do it well when I do do it. I know failing is a part of life, and I accept that, but I try to avoid all out failure if I can, and admitting that this job wasn't for me when it seemed so perfect and so destined is failure in my book. I still can't stand that one employee. She's driving me batty. but whatever... maybe I'll be lucky and she'll get pissed off enough at the boss and leave. He drives her insane cause he is quite anal and wants to know about EVERYTHING that is going on. Which is understandable as its his business.. but it can be frustrating when you have to run every little thing by him and he isnt always avalible for whatever reason.

*sigh*

I should go to bed. For some reason Im avoiding it tonight. Might have something to do with the fact that I took a nap this afternoon (half day at work) and when I woke up I felt horrible.. like everything on me weighed 100 lbs.. I felt all bloated and not nice at all. Im considering doing something to keep my feet elevated at night..

btw.. I haven't mentioned that according to my doctor, I've lost 40lbs. I have no idea how that happened, cause according to my scale I've only lost 20.. but then again according to my scale I weigh 10 lbs less than their scale.

Emerald.. go away. stop stepping on me with your little kitty feet, and most definately do NOT lick me.. no you silly kitty.. i said NOT to lick me.. .. ugh..

lets see.. what else has been going on.

we finally got some warm weather here. Winter just wouldn't seem to go away this year.. it was cold and damp for most of the spring. of course now that summer is here, its here with a vengance.. humidity to spare.

The pool has finally cleared up. He opened it up weeks ago, but didn't get it running till last week or so, then it was so cloudy, you didn't want to get in it. today it looked kinda nice, but I wasn't in the mood to go swimming, maybe tomorrow.. if I can find my suit.. or maybe I'll just go skinny dipping tomorrow night :)

really need to clean up the house again. the pool table is underneith so much crap you can barely see it.. I SOOO need to get rid of our old stove and fridge though.. its been in the paper for a week now and no one has bothered to even call on it. that would be one giant step to cleaning out this house.. Hopefully I can get a good nights sleep and be well rested to clean tomorrow.. yea.. right.. and monkeys might fly out of my butt.. I'll probably just lay in bed and watch a movie, and be lazy cause I can, and because the kitties miss doing that with me :)

btw.. the mole removal thing.. couldn't have gone better.. I should have asked her about it years ago. I still have yet to shave under there.. Man I LOVE having so little body hair.. lol.. but Im sure that will go wonderfully..

Im sitting here crying like a fool. sigh. I should not watch emergancy vets on the animal planet. They had a kitten come in who's intestines were hanging out.. he was a new born. the owners agreed to pay for the surgery to put him back together, and he came through the surgery well and they sent him home, but the mother rejected him and he died the next day. *sob*

I had some minor surgery today. a mole I have had in my right arm pit since I can possibly remember has finally been removed. Thankgoodness.. It was next to impossible to shave well under there with out fear of lopping it off. I almost did once.. when I first started shaving. I asked the doc about it today.. and she said she could remove it, and she did. yahooie.. of course now I have to live with this bandaid in my armpit for a while.. hopefully deoderant wont affect it too much.

Last year in may some time I mentioned that the leaves had finally come out. Every year there is one day.. the day it rains, then the sun comes out and the world bursts in greenness. This year it didn't really happen. we had day after day after day of rain. Eventually the sun came out, and there was greenness.. but it had been around so long, but just wet, that it didn't 'pop' like it normally does.

For those of you who haven't figured it out, I have a new job. I haven't really told anyone.. Wasn't sure I was going to keep it, didn't want to announce a new job to the world then announce that I quit a few days or weeks later. The job started out as the job from hell. literally and figuratively. it was absolutely awful. there was no training.. basically watch then go fend for yourself. I hate starting a new job. I HATE the learning curve. and not having any help made it worse. I cried on the way home after the first day. some how I went back. it was better after the first week, and better after the second.. and so on and so on.. Im on week four now.. Im still not sure I want to be working, but the money is nice, and will help with the house rennovations.

where am I working? the local vet clinic.. :) yup. sadly its not a hug animals all day kind of job, but its free or at cost care for my kitties, which is important..

just so you know..

it is truely better to believe you are beautiful and be ugly to the world,
than to be beautiful to the world and to believe your ugly..

just got back from seeing the movie phone booth. Don't waste your time. It was good, and suspenceful, but its such a rental.
Life here is moving along pretty much as normal. Lost another foster kitten. This one was born deformed and was having a harder and harder time making it. It was so sad. Ive come to realize that sick kitties tend to be more cling-y to the people around them, making them more of an ideal kitten.. one who wants attention, and doesn't get easily distracted, and isn't overly obnoxiously playful so it ends up biting your hands or toes.. so that's why it hurts so much when they don't pull through.

Did my taxes the other day.. first time in a long time I don't have to send money in to the goverment. Feels good. I suppose that is a major benifit of being unemployeed.. you don't owe the state as much money.

I watched the toppling of the statue in iraq the other day (if you turned on a tv that day you couldn't miss it). The people of Iraq are quite happy you know who is missing and presumed dead. Makes me feel a bit better about the whole war thing, but I think its just a good result of a bad intention. The motivation behind the action was selfish. But I suppose if good comes out of it, it can't be all bad.

Watched harry potter 2 the other night. Rented it on VHS (oh the horror) cause the dvd's were all out. Went to outback, got food to go, came home and watched the movie and ate the dinner on the sunporch cause the day had warmed it up nicely. It was so nice. Made it almost event like. towards the end of the movie it was starting to get a little chilly. We turned on our fake fireplace, which made it cozy. Plan to do that a lot this summer.

I really need to take some time and reorganize this house. Its not working again. Its way too easy for it to get out of whack. Not sure exactly how to go about making it work better with out some major structual improvements (aka more space). Guess I'll have to start weeding out some stuff.

was talking to the hubby on thursday. he was going to try to convince doug and sarah to find a baby sitter and come out to the movies with us. By friday night he still hadn't pinned them down on an answer. So he called them at home, but it turned out that sarah had to work all weekend. I got on line and was surfing around when I saw my friend Ken was on line. I said hi. He said hi, and asked me what I was up to. I stated I was looking for something fun to do this weekend, but I didn't type the i was.. and he read it as a question instead of a statement. So some how I ended up inviting us down to his house. :)

We had to meet him at the mall cause he was getting his breaks fixed. His car wasn't ready by the time we got down there (a two hour drive) so we went to TGI Fridays and had lunch. I had a roasted veggie sandwich that was very yummy. We walked around the mall a bit, talking about movies ... cause we were trying to decide if we wanted to go out or rent or buy something. We ended up going to walmart where i found the authroized bootleg dvd of army of darkness.. which i HAD to buy. We also got x-men 1.5

We went home, watched two of the three movies ken bought (space balls and stargate - he also bought 'it') we ordered in some pizza, which surprisingly he hadn't done before.. bachelor living there for three years..but whatever. We played some cards, then came home.

I had a bunch of dreams last night. Most of the night it was the theme of being trapped. I don't remember much of anything.. just not being able to leave where I was for what ever reason. I was so frustrated that I woke up and got up for a while. I went back to bed for a while, and had a really strange dream about an alligator.

Went over my parents because my sister was coming down. Hung out there most of the afternoon. The baby is so utterly well behaved.. quiet all the time. My mother was telling my sister about ben's new favorite book at her house.. it was about monsters of the deep and a really big alligator.

While I like this in theory, you'd NEVER get a man to actually cook nude..

well.. Im gettling ready to change the layout of the blog again. I had an idea of what I wanted, but I can't find any images to go with it. I have some on an old calendar of mine, but that means I have to hook up my scanner.. or remember to take it with me when I go out tomorrow and sneek into my parents house and use theirs.. I did find one lay out I really liked when I was out surfing, but it was custom made and im not all that into stealing.. (I say that, but I keifed the above image)

Went to the hospital to see my nephew.. he's doing well. They were talking about sending him home today, but of course no one called me to let me know. typical. My family is a little like that, then they are surprised when I have no clue as to what is going on. I have a tendancy to call the baby by his brother's name.. Im not the only one either. I wonder why that is. Came up with the idea to take ben out to dinner one evening soon.. Figured it would be good all the way around.. ben would love it, his parents would get an evening with out him, and we'd get something different to do. Ben is a bundle of energy.. and your stress level goes up a few notches when ever he's around. Not that its a bad thing, you don't even notice it till he goes to bed.

I knocked a few more things off my to do list today.. was quite productive if you ask me. :)

Well Im considering taking the comments off this blog. Seems kinda silly to have them when no one uses them. and its just a tad depressing to see all those 0's. I know your out there.. come on.. say hi!

had a dream last night that my cousin sheila was dead. that she had died back at christmas time. It was kinda freaky. I was talking to her two sisters about it. everyone was very casual. Not a good way to start the day.

My new nephew Samuel is in the hospital with jaundis. He has been for a couple of days now. I know this is a fairly common problem, and that he'll be fixed up good as new soon enough. Im feeling pretty out of the loop though. Im getting all my info from my mother via email. I suppose its my own fault for not rushing to their side, but I don't want to intrude. Don't want to put another person in my sisters line of site that she might think she has to be strong for or "entertain". It tended to stress me out a bit more when extended family showed up when my dad was in the hospital. She knows my number, she knows where I live..

and.. now for something a bit on the lighter side.
there actually is news that isn't related to the war

this expresses my views on the war in a way I couldn't seem to.

Stolen from RD.com

MY HUSBAND, on his first screenwriter's job, was working on a crime thriller. I looked in to find him sitting perfectly still, a tear rolling down his cheek. "David died," he told me. The main character's name was David. "But, honey," I said, "it's your story. Didn't you know that was going to happen?" "Yes," he replied. "I killed him."


--Contributed to "All In a Day's Work"
by Elizabeth Ann Edwards

While driving a city bus one winter morning, I turned onto a slippery side street, and the vehicle began to skid. It slid through an intersection, over a curb and onto a front yard, stopping just outside someone's front door. As I stepped out of the bus, a man standing in the doorway of the house called to his wife, "Honey, were you waiting for a bus?"


--Contributed to "All In a Day's Work"
by Bruce R. Johnson

well now that the war has actually started, you have to admire the way they do it now. We've been fighting for a couple of days and there was only one casualty. There were more, but they were human error. Although I haven't kept up on the latest developments so there might be more. Its amazing how you can have a war with out blood shed. in the days of the Vietnam war, people were being killed all over the place.

That being said, I do not agree with this war. I can't believe that for the past 10 years there was no need to do anything, now all of a sudden there is. Personally, I think that since there was no real target in the war on terrorism, no big bulls eye they could trot out in front of the public, they decided they needed to go after someone who was well hated and who had ties to terrorism. From every piece of news I heard Iraq was complying with UN inspectors. There were a few items that were found that weren't listed, but you know what.. I have no problem with that. When you run an entire country your bound to forget a few things. If the US was told to make a list of everything they had, Id bet anything they would miss a few things as well.

Another reason I have major issues with what is going on right now is the almost total lack of interest in North Korea. They have said right out what they have, and that they aren't going to follow the rules, and they were trying to blackmail the US into giving them stuff to comply with the rules that NK already agreed to.

Now, Im fully willing to admit there is probably information I do not know about. Especially since I am staying as far away from the news of the war as humanly possible.. But violence only begets violence. Its the human way. But then again, so is war. And until we get past that, we'll never be able to live in peace.

But then again, its been prophesied that we wont. So as always.. I just accept this. I do not have to like it, and I don't.

This being said.. I 110% support the troops. I have many friends in the service. I have and will applaud them for serving this country that Im actually proud to live in (despite the leader). While this might seem like a bit of a contradiction to you, remember, Im not outsidethenorm for nothing..

one freaky type thing happened while I was at the home show the other weekend. They brought in a dog to show. The dog's name was princess, but the name really didn't fit, so the other volunteer and I tried to come up with another name for it. For some reason I kept coming back to the name sam. Later in the show a couple who was moving to town a few months stopped by and fell in love with her. Princess seemed to really take to them. It seemed like a perfect match. The couple had another dog, and the dogs name was sam.

well.. I couldn't do the taxes cause I was a few forms shy of being able to complete it. With out itemizing my deductions it looks like Im going to owe about $400. *crosses fingers that with itemization I'll get 400$*
Brushed the kitties teeth, went well
Ignored the kitty faq. Really got to get to that and the kitty web pages
well I couldn't help but pat the kitty since she climbed up on me,
and well.. the nap was nice :)

Went to the shelter this afternoon. Driving past the school to get there, I realized something. Kids today wear their backpacks on both shoulders. We would have NEVER done that, it was uber uncool. so what if we were hunch backs because we carried 40lbs of books on just one shoulder, it was cool! Not one kid I have seen doesn't carry them on both shoulders.

There was a management forum at the shelter. An open discussion of different things going on, and a way to get and give feedback from the volunteers. It was quite strange, in the fact that people would ask questions about one thing, and the director would go off talking about something very similar to the question, but not quite on the mark. For example, one woman brought up that the adoption process took too long sometimes, and people would get frustrated sitting around for an hour after making the decision to adopt someone in particular. She also mentioned that one guy who came in said he'd been living in the next town over for years, and never knew we were there.. just saw us one day when driving by. Well the director went off on saying he didn't want to call the papers or the news media when we took in 'newsworthy' rescues, because that would bring the negativity image up in the people's mind and they would only think of the shelter as a place where the sick and injured go. I know he was making the connection of advertising the shelter, but he really didn't address her concern of the frustration of the new adopters. Oh well. I did learn a quite a bit about their plans for the next year or so. Some very exciting changes coming up. Can't wait to see them go into effect.

I saw a blurb on the news this morning that there is a french website that is calling for people to send pretzels to Pres. Bush. I couldn't help but laugh at that, especially since I read recently that the US congress recently changed the name of their french fries to freedom fries. Come on people.. grow up! *rolls eyes* This whole thing is getting ridiculous. Personally I do not like Pres. Bush. If I ran the world he would NOT be president. I think he's ignorant, self serving, and totally wrong for the job. The only thing on his side (in my opinion) is the fact that he says he believes in God. If you spend any time reading my blog on a regular basis, you know I have very strong faith However I know that one of these days the world is going to end. It is predicted. There is going to be a second coming God isn't going to save us all from it (just those who believe in Him) Just as I don't believe that He will save anyone if Pres. Bush decides to take this country into war. (well maybe one or two.. but on the whole.) As long as a war isn't going to interfere with God's Plan, He is not going to stop it.

God left us here with no real concrete proof He exists so that we can choose to love Him. When someone chooses to love you its a very precious thing. If there were concrete proof, who would choose not to love Him? Only fools. If you knew with 100% certainty that there was a God, and that if you didn't love and trust Him you'd go burn in a fiery pit for eternity... wouldn't you believe?

Anyway.. back to Pres. Bush. He scares me. I don't really believe he believes in God. I think its a show. I think he was brought up to 'believe in God' and knows that is the thing to do, but I don't think he's ever taken the Lord as his Savior. I believe he's religious.. don't get me wrong. But there are religious people who aren't saved and are going to Hell when they die. I think he wants to go to war to finish the job his father couldn't do due to legal issues. I pray all the time that Im wrong. I am totally willing to change my mind on this matter if I see one iota of evidence to the contrary. I wouldn't be one bit surprised that it was the Devil's doing that he's in power.

But. there is nothing I can do in this situation. No matter my opinion, life is going to unfold as it will. I can only live my life, and express my opinions.
which I do.
on a regular basis.
Im not a red head by chance
*smirk*

Now this being said, I want you to know gentle reader, that I totally respect your opinions on the matter. If you LOVE Pres. Bush, more power to you For all you can do is live your life, and express your opinion.

to do list

• taxes
  
• brush kitty teeth
  
• build kitty faq
  
• build kitty web pages
  
• pat kitty
  
• sleep
  

ooh.. loookie.. taking a nap is on my todo list.. well then.. I must go do that..

im starting to think its time for me to go back to work. Im getting quite annoyed with the shelter. Im not really sure why. Maybe Im just feeling the effects of the whole mess that I just went through. Im volunteering for them this sunday at the home show. If I walk away from that peeved, I think I'll seriously consider going back to work.

*shudder*

Im still not quite myself.. which would probably explain the above statements. I really need to get my act in gear. Was kinda stupid of me to not take a class this semester. Makes me feel like a slacker - especially since there are no kittens to take care of.

yea.. isn't this blog just all happiness and light.. *sigh* suppose you have to work with what you've got. I should just go back to bed..

Ive been quite scatter brained / depressed / not myself lately... Been doing little more than surviving. Hasn't been pretty. I keep snapping at the hubby.. I have to keep reminding him and myself that its not him, its just my brain hasn't been working right.

Decided to work on a few projects around the house, so we went out shopping in search of materials for them. First of all there is a depression in the wall in the bedroom that is 15 inches deep and 45 inches long (or 53 as long as you can access the light switch) that I have been dying to get a decent piece of furniture for. We went out looking for that friday night. There was a bakers rack that was 18 inches deep and 36 inches long that was nice. There is also a wall unit of cubby holes (nine of them) at target that is 16 inches deep and 45 inches long. I think Im going to go with the cubby hole thing. It means I have to find a new place to store my stand up jewelery box, but I think I can handle that. I have to say though, finding something for that spot was not easy.

The other day I saw a redecorating show where they made a hang on a wall pot rack. I have wanted a pot rack for like ever, but there is no good place in my house to hang one from the ceiling, so when I saw that I was quite happy. I suggested it to the hubby, and he likes the idea as well. The wall we are going to put it on is pretty far away from the stove and what not, but hey.. it will give us a bit more cubbard space, and that is always a good thing. But then he realized that the rack would be right over the litter boxes. Not such a good thing. I was sad. We started thinking about rearranging the kitchen area.. but it just didn't seem to work. There really is no other good place for the litter either. Then I thought what if we built a box to hide the litter boxes. So we went out in search of stuff to make an on the wall pot rack (ok two.. one on either side of the window) and a four sided box (leaving the bottom and the back open) to cover the litter boxes. We stopped at IHOP to have breakfast. Had their stuffed french toast.. omg.. it was amazingly delicious!! we went from there to bob's discount place.. nothing there. then we drove up to lewiston and went to mardins. I got some computer games, and some girl scout cookies. There were some decent pieces of furniture there that would have worked in the space, but they were quite expensive, and most of them were sold anyway. Then we went to clearance / wear house type food store. Had some odd things in there that we had to have :). Went to Home Depo to get the stuff we needed for the projects. We also found an eletric fireplace on clearance. We had been wanting one for the sun room.. so we splurged and got that too.

Unfortunately, about half an hour after we ate 'breakfast' (well it was at 1pm) My stomach started to feel like a rock, and my head started to pound. Physically Im pretty much a mess. I haven't had anything else to eat today, and I can't even begin to fathom eating anything else. *sigh*

Well Im going to close this entry by sharing with you one of my major pet peeves lately. Its that stupid slim fast commercial that asks "can you loose weight and still live your life". well DUH!.. that part really pissed me off. then I realized a little bit later in the commercial there is a little disclaimer that pops up right after the woman says "and it was so easy".. the disclaimer being that .... word for word.. I kid you not "loosing weight is not easy" I so want to smack the person who came up with this commercial.

Went to the movies last night with Paulette and her hubby. We went to chunkys and saw Dare Devil. Its a pretty good action pict, if you can get past the few major flaws with the premise and the plot. And surprisingly not one thing went wrong with the meal. Chunkys is a dinner theater type place.. where you can order food and then watch the movie. They have sandwiches, burgers, finger food. The past 30 times we have gone there SOMETHING has gone wrong with the food or the service. ranging from a fly in the soda, to our food being delivered to a different theatre, to never seeing a waitress.

Today we went to my parents house for the hubby's birthday dinner. My parents cook dinner and bake a cake for our birthdays. I requested yorkshire pudding. My mom is from england, so we had it growing up, but I haven't had it for years and years. Growing up she used to cook it in a wide shallow pan (think lasagna type pan).. today for some reason she cooked it in muffin tins.... which is the way Ive seen it every other place but home. I like it better in loaf form, not so many 'crust' type areas.. oh well. It was yummy anyway.

We then played a few rounds of cribbage. First it was the hubby and my dad. Dad won.. one round he skunked the hubby. Then it was me vs dad. I skunked dad. We then played a foursome.. me and dad vs hubby and mom. We skunked them the first round. I got a a flush crib of k q j 5.. don't remember what the top card was. I got a few hands of 15-16. The second round we lost by about 25 points. Not quite sure how cause usually one of us would have a 10+ hand.. I accused the hubby of unintentionally double scoring, so then started in saying that no one "followed the rules" when it came to counting. Well every time I tried to count I couldn't cause all I could hear was him and mom counting.. so I was almost always last to peg. I told him that, and so we then went to the "right" way of counting hands.. which was even more annoying cause only dad, and occasionally me had to ask if they had any more points in their hand.

Im home now.. and Im still stuffed from cake and dinner, but for some reason I REALLY want to eat something.. I thought I might have just been ice cream deprived (cause mom got ice cream with nuts to go with the cake) but I had a small bowl of that, and I still want something. but Im full. grrr.. its quite frustrating trying to talk my body out of getting up and going into the kitchen on a constant basis.

I need a kitty to come sit on me..

here kitty kitty..

so.. what do you think of my new layout? :) only thing it needs is a few kitties and some pumpkins. Yup.. Im silly. But I saw this image and liked it. Leave some feedback.. let me know what you think.

went to ruby tuesdays tonight. Never been there before, and the menu looked quite good. I ordered some chicken tenders cause it really caught my eye for some reason. The hubby got the stonewall chicken. We got some spinach queso dip w/ chips as an appetiser. The dip wasn't bad. It was addicting. It seemed to be made out of canned cheese soup though. Not the highest quality... but decent. Hubby's meal was pretty good. Came on a bed of rice pilaf. Which was incredibly good. Usually rice pilaf is really bland.. not much more than white rice, but this one was nice and tasty. However the jack cheese on his chicken was just a slice of cheese.. like something you'd get at the grocery deli. My chicken was good. not dry - not all that juicy either.. but still on the good side. The meal came with cole slaw and two dressings for the chicken - honey mustard and bbq sauce. The cole slaw was good till I hit a patch that tasted like it was just coated in mayo. However, while dipping a fry in the bbq sauce, I ran into something that didn't belong there. I was quite repulsed. Turns out it was a piece of bacon. I had noticed just before I found it that the sauces seemed to have a coating on them, like they had been sitting out for a while. I called over the waitress, they took it out back and examened it. The manager told me it was bacon and that it probably got there cause the sauce sat next to the grill where they cook the burgers. I explained how unacceptable that was.

Hubby commented that it always seems to be my meal that has something wrong with it when we go out. I told him its cause I care about such things, and if it had been his meal he would have just assumed it was an onion stick (part of the meal.. wafer thin onion rings) and just eaten the rest of his meal.

I went to the shelter today.. was quite productive. Went to walmart, then realized I forgot my wallet (arrgh) fortunately I had enough cash on me to get the few important things I wanted (well except the batteries). Went to Sarah's to drop off the baby stuff I bought her a few weeks back. She and doug stopped by to get them, and left them here, and the hubby kept forgetting to bring them to him at work. Visited with her for a while. Its been 8 weeks and she's still bleeding apparently. Not good. Went to my parents to drop off the blue sueade shoes I bought for my incoming nephew (he's due on the 4 of april) Mentioned that hubby's birthday was tomorrow, and accepted an invitation for dinner on sunday (cause he's going skiing tomorrow and we are going out on saturday). I finagled us a roast beef with yorkshire pudding dinner (yea!). Came home. We went to ruby's. THen we went to walmart where we got batteries and some cat food. Then went to the pet store to get tooth brushes for all the kitties - yes. for some reason I feel they should each have their own.. . Now.. its time for bed. I do have a pict I need to edit and post.. but then its bed (see the kitty blog for the pict)

Honestly, I have to say there is very little joy in my life right now. There's muffin. There are some lime tarts I made the other day from a jar of lime curd I found in the cubbard. There is the fact I lost another pound.. but I spend a lot of my time right now being sad and angry. I know its temporary.. ok.. so I hope its temporary. I hope the more days that go by that my kitties don't get ill the easier it will be to move past this.

I should go out and do something.. but I don't know what. I could go shopping, but frankly I don't really have the money nor do I need any more stuff. I could go out to eat, but there isn't any where that is all that healthy (see the lost pound bit) and I know Id just feel guilty about it.

although I did just put new sheets on the bed. They are woolrich flannel. very soft and comfy.. I like bed. I like to sleep..

but some how that just seems counter productive..
but then again, there isn't anything to do to not feel helpless in this situation..

I still hate people.
(and while those lime tarts aren't all that and a side of pickles.. but they are good.. which surprised me and thus the happiness. how lame am I? but hey.. Im taking my happiness where I can find it. like this really cute bottle of celestial seasoning lemon zinger iced tea. Its got their teddybear logo all over it.. and its not bad tasting either.)

I am so flippin angry. Im angry at the people who didn't take care of their pets and caused this (read the kittyblog). Im angry at the shelter for not testing for it, and for not vacinating for it, and for not doing more (what more could they have done.. be reasonalbe.. I don't want to be reasonable.. Im being angry right now) Im mad at God for letting them get infected. Im very very mad at God right now. I hope he understands. I really.. and I mean REALLY have had enough of this life. Im sick and tired of all the pain and the agony. Im sick of the evil and mean and ignorant people. Ive been beatten and worn down by it all. Im sick and tired of all of this.

see that shadow in the corner of the room that seems to be sobbing. That's me. because anger only gets you so far.

tuesday I had a good conversation with the hubby. Called him on a few fibs he told. Opened his eyes to how much he hurt me. Hes been pretty good since. (although there are some chores of his that are undone, but hey.. you can't have everything)

One of my kittens is ill and needs to be put to sleep. Looks like today is going to be the day. Made the decision yesterday to do it. Ive been living with it ever since. I keep telling myself it is the best thing for the kitty, and that is carrying me through this, but when I lay down to go to sleep, I can't help but mull over it and start sobbing, so I've been playing my "go to sleep" game. I am giving three wishes.. what would I wish for. the three wishes change on a regular basis.. depending on what's keeping me awake. Last night it was
1) no human could physically hurt another human being, endangered animal or compainion animal - unless that pain was in the best interest of the other person or they consented.
2) everybodies body worked exactly as it was designed to do. High metabolisms, perfect eyesite, no more cancers. Everyone dies of old age in their sleep.
3) kodi got better

Yea yea yea.. that last one kept popping up.. couldn't get past it. although I tried to convince myself to go with the magically disappearing credit card balance one.. (I can charge up to my limit each month, but then the balance just disappears each month and I never have to pay it) I also tried to do the whole dream house thing. What would it look like, what colors would be the rooms, what cool things would I have in it ( hot tub - sauna - etc).. but I couldn't concentrate on those. I eventually fell asleep. Had a dream that I created a new polymer that was water proof and heat retardant and was about as thick as a piece of plastic wrap. Yup. Im weird.

I need to get up off my duff and exercise. I just don't have the emotional fortitude to do it. I just want to sit here and cuddle with my bear and preferably a kitty and make the whole day go away.

Im sitting here wanting to go postal all over the hubby..
He totally bit the big one on Vday.. and before I could explain why he got quite ill.
He's in recovery, and totally blowing it again.. totally .. and I mean TOTALLY taking me for granted..


I just want to crack him over the head with this bottle here..
If I could do it in a toon/movie sort of way I probably would..

jerk.

this is a bit of a cross post. the first half is on the kitty blog, so if you read that there, just skip to the middle

I colored my hair today. I do that on occasion for something to do and cause I love the way my hair feels afterwards (VERY conditioned and silky) I always dye it the exact same color it is.. maybe a shade brighter, but being red, it often fades to the exact same shade (aka when it grows out you can not tell)

anyway. I knew with muffin and eli that I wouldn't be able to do it in peace unless I shut the door. So I did. Put all the color in my hair, put my hair in a shower cap, cleaned up the mess, searched for any spills, found one, cleaned it up, and went out into the living room to await my time.


When it was almost up, I went back into the bathroom, and opened up the shower curtian and found four kitty paw prints in red hair dye. I paniced.. not only cause hair dye on kitties isn't a good idea, but also cause I KNEW there would be little red kitty prints on the bed, on the carpet and on the sofa... So I ran out to find Eli. I KNEW it was Eli cause he loves playing in the bathtub. (yup.. he's a silly kitty) Found him right away, and the underside of his front paw was all red. Not a good look.. started to get dark enough to look bloody. I took him into the bathroom and washed it till I felt he was safe. Used a TON of kitty shampoo... then I noticed his back foot was dirty too. *rolls eyes*. Eli wasn't very happy with getting his feet washed. they were still a little red when I was done. I couldn't help but think of the brady bunch.. lol

The dye had sat on the tub and the edge so long that it didn't just wipe up.. thank goodness for the product called "kaboom". took it right off. I felt bad rinsing off all that dye in my white tub, with its white walls, and white shower curtian. It looked like something out of psycho..

had to go out shopping this afternoon.. MAN it was cold. its going to get to -35 tonight.. yes.. -35.. aka 62 degrees below freezing..
its a five kitty and an extra quilt night tonight.

*grumble* stupid kitties.. I put a jigsaw puzzle together the other day, and its on a board I put it on the floor for safe keeping till I could get some tape to tape it up, and they pushed it off the board and broke up quite a bit of it. So I put it back together, and put the board on the sofa.. stupid kitties have knocked it off the board and broke up quite a bit of it again..

although technically its probably stupid me for leaving it out in the path of kitties..

Its snowing here. I was going to go out and run some errands.. but now I don't want to.. although I do kinda have to..
*sigh*
going to be doing a lot of things I don't want to in the next few days..

Make it go away or make it better
Isn’t that what love’s supposed to do
Make it go away or make it better
Cause I would do either one for you

This is not the way you should see me
This is not the face I recognize
Could I lay my head down here for a moment
Would you sing to me like I’m your child
Cause I’m not angry I’m not crying
I’m just in over my head
You could be the angel that stayed on my shoulder
When all of the other angels left

Make it go away or make it better
Cause I am waking
This more then one should have to take
If you do this for me then I will promise
I’ll make it go away for you someday

There are reasons silver linings
There are lessons but I don’t care
Cause I just need a hand that I can hold onto
When it’s darker then death out there

I’m so cold
And so far away from my home
But tonight you’re
You’re where I belong
You’re everything right
When I’m everything wrong

Make it go away or make it better
Isn’t that what love’s supposed to do
Make it go away or make it better
Cause I would do either one for you
(repeat)

~Holly Cole - Make It Go Away

vet just called.. ok.. not quite an hour ago..
Kodi has FIP.. he has absolutely no immune system, and there for absolutely no chance.

all the kitties will need to go in to be tested.
Gonna have to make the hubby make these arrangements..

Will probably put kodi down sooner than later. He was eating the other day, but today just wasn't into it.
probably when the hubby gets home..

friday..

happy valentines day to me hun?

spent some good time with kodi last night.
Plan to do some more today..

Hopefully the vet will call with some good info for me today
but Im not holding my breath..

my life is in such termoil right now. Sadly when that happens I just need to cocoon.. I know this probably frustrates my friends, and my deepest appologies. I'll be back around once we get the tests back for Kodi..

but then again, if I start getting positive tests back for anyone else, I'll be attached to a puffs box yet again..

*sigh*

More on the kitty blog

I SOOOO know what I want for my birthday!

The first two are things I want, the last is what I got, its called a small loaf pan.

went to the shelter today. The woman I normally "work" for had to run to the dentist that morning (She lost a filling - ouch!) but she left some work out for me, so I did that all, then went down to kittery to do a little shopping. I have been wanting to get some more angora socks. They seem to be the only thing that has been able to keep my feet warm. I have one pair. Sadly though they are shrinking every time they get washed. Ive mentioned that to the laundry man (cause I apparently do laundry WRONG).. and he keeps forgetting. and frankly, if he starts doing it WRONG, then that means I have to start doing it, so I'll just keep my mouth shut and go buy a few new pairs *grin*

anyway.. went to the sock outlet store in kittery (You have GOT to love outlet stores) and got a few pairs. be warned though if you go... they don't take checks. My credit cards weren't in my wallet (none of them! how on earth did THAT happen?) fortunately I had some cash. I also went to the craft store.. a store for crafters as opposed to a craft supply store.. found the cutest little sign, it had a picture of a cat on it, and it said something to the effect that I can go from normal to insane in 1.5 seconds. It made me giggle. I almost bought it, but I had no where to put it. I also saw a really cute wooden pumpkin. it wasn't much bigger than your thumb nail, and they wanted almost $3.00 for it. Yup.. didn't buy that either. I went to the lenox store.. found some cute gifties for a friend. Didn't get them as I have a coupon and I had forgotten it, so I'll probably be back soon. Went the pfsomething or other store.. the other china company that starts with PF (and has a really annoying name for someone who is spelling impaired) They are having a major sale on their winter products, which includes some polar bear salt and pepper shakers which I totally fell in love with, but were still about $20. I decided since I had to come back to lenox, Id see if there were any on sale on ebay.. *crosses fingers* I did get a bowl and some long boat like thing, and a cup, and four votive holders, all with polar bears on it.

Im thinking when I redo my look here, it will probably be done in polar bears..

I also went to the book store.. got a buffy the vampire slayer book on tape, a star trek book on tape, a cook book ... its a good concept.. trick yourself into eating healthy.. the recipes were good sounding *grin* I also got a couple of road atlases for the hubby for his birthday .. I get out of valentines day since he'll be away skiing.. aren't I such a good wife to let him go out of town on valentines day.. *rolls eyes*

I did really crappy on my diet last week. Lost only one pound in two weeks. guess that's what happens when you get pizza two days in a row.. oh those dominos dots are EVIL!!

I bought a new sapphire ring from HSN the other day. Its fake sapphires, and its technibond, but you know what, for $20 Its an absolute steal.. I love lab created stones and technibond at HSN.. so pretty and so inexpensive. Anyway.. I got it in a size 10 so it would fit on my pointer finger. I went out to get the mail today, and it finally arrived. Well I was outside and the piles of ice on the drive way was bugging me, so I chopped some of it off - while holding the mail. I finally got inside and opened up the ring and put it on, and it didn't fit. I was furrious thinking they gave me a smaller size.. but I figured my fingers were just enlarged from the cold.. and they were.. it fits.

Weird thing about me.. both my ring fingers and thumbs are the same size (8.5).. and now Ive come to the realization that both of my middle and pointer fingers are also the same size. (10)

btw... happy ground hogs day. Was kinda lost in the other news of the world..
Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his burrow and saw his shadow... bad weather is coming.

Dominos is evil. EVIL I tell you.. *shudder*
they created these dot things..
I can't stop eating them.
someone help me.

Jesus speaking:

"...And if anyone hears My words and does
not believe, I do not judge him; for I did
not come to judge the world but to save
the world.

He who rejects Me, and does not receive My
words, has that which judges him--the word
that I have spoken will judge him in the
last day.

John 12:47-48

Lets see.. Monday I cleaned. Tuesday I went to the shelter and cleaned, Wednesday I cleaned.. Cleaned out the kitten room.. it looks all nice and tidy now. I still have a box of crap to go through, but the room is clean so I can get more kittens now *cheezy grin* Also had that kitty incident on wednesday. today I went to the shelter again and to a baby shower for a coworker. Tomorrow Im going to go through that box, write up some thank you cards for the shelter.. there is about 60 of them. They like to have their cards hand written for people who walk in with donations and then we are going out tomorrow evening. Ive said this more than once, but man if I had a job, Id never get anything done. I guess I spent a lot of time putting things off, which is why I have such a long list of stuff I want to get done now. I also have a stack of magazines to go through and read.

I think when I get through my list, Im going to get a better background for this blog. Maybe something along the lines of a tahiti shore line.. :)

well I figured out why my clock was always an hour behind.. because for some reason the time zone was set to central, and it kept synchronizing with time-nw.nist.gov. Well.. mystery solved, computer better, and saved from being thrown out the window. Went to the shelter today.. they sent me home with "home work". She also told me that Im going to get "my own" computer there, so I can work on the database.. ooh goodie *rolls eyes*. Hey.. more experience the better.

Im most likely going to be selling off some of my beanies in the next few weeks, to raise some money for the shelter. They have been really really good to me... not that I haven't been really good to them too, but I feel I want to do this.

superbowl commercials I liked
the zebra budwiser one
the clown budwiser
the yo one
the drug one in the subway
gilligan's mlife
brad/alex

ones that I didn't like
the michael jordan one
the levis / buffelo one
ozzy
bud / mom & daughter
cadillac
the promo for 'are you hot'
fletcher and son / terry tate
bud / third arm
espn / without sports there would be no new year
michalobe ultra "drinking will make you thin"
bud yoga

friday night I went to my sister's house. My mother said she was going friday night cause saturday was my nephew's birthday party, and she wasn't interested in being there with a lot of little kids (he's five now) We called my parents before we went up, and they weren't home, so off we went.. we got there, and there was no car in the driveway, and the lights seemed to be off, like no one was home. We rang the bell anyway.. my sister "lives" in her den, which is the back of the house. She and the boy were home, the hubby was off shopping. We sat and visited for a while. We worked on the goodie bags and what not for the party. she was going to do the pop the balloon and get a prize game. So we were stuffing candy in balloons and we blew up a few, when her hubby remarked that they would have deflated by tomorrow, so I untied those that I could, but there was one I couldn't. We left that one and went into the kitchen to look at the pinata. Well the cat got up on the sofa and had a look at the balloon and some how ended up popping it. Surprisingly she sat right there for a while, looking a little stunned, but that was about it. Although later in the evening when we were sitting on the couch, the cat looked up at us with a leary look in her eyes :) We got to play hot wheels, and be privy to underwear boy. My parents never came up, although apparently they had called and told my BIL that they weren't coming up that night... which confused him cause he wasn't aware they were coming.

Saturday we went down to MA to visit Ken. It was a bit of a haul, but it wasn't bad. Found his place rather well. We had been there once before, but it was two years before. I was still thinking he was living in his last appartment. We went out for lunch/dinner. had chinese food. it was so so. went then to jordan's furniture. They have an imax there. Its quite an experience. It was amazing the number of kids who were at the furniture store. apparently they have an animatronic show. we stayed around for it. it was quite "impressive". took up the whole floor area. was a madi gras theme. You get beads as you walk in the door. They really know how to get people in the door.. I must say. They also have a full serve resteraunt backed up to it as well. Its Kelly's.. which is an irish roast beef place. just slightly higher scale than say ... arbys..

we then went out for desert to this place that makes a chocolate truffle cake. Ken raved about it. We walked in the door at 5:30, and there was a half hour wait. I suggested the bar, and we went right in, and ordered. It was good, but dark chocolate, and extremely rich. Im not going to complain about it :) but Im not about to rush out and get another one any time soon.

We went back to his place and watched a movie.. Memento. One freaky movie. When the movie was done, you are left with a ton of questions. Ken has seen it three times now and he still didn't see things I did, and had major questions. If you like funky movies, Id recommend it. The time line runs backwards. basically you start at 18 and you watch 18, 19 and 20. then the next scene would be 16. then you watch 16,17 and the start of 18. and so on and so on..

My father's birthday present arrived on friday. I ordered him a NY cheesecake I also got him some aftershave (old spice) and some altoids. The cheesecake is a big hit. Juniors makes a very good cheesecake. I got him the sampler pack. So we went over today and gave that to him, and partook of it. Also fixed his computer once again. Man Id give anything to know how he does these things sometimes. We visited for a while, then went grocery shopping for some goodies to munch on while we watch the super bowl. In general Im morally opposed to football (long story) but I love the comercials, and I don't mind the game (I know how its played thanks to four years in the band.. we put on a field show during half time so we went to all the games). So we usually make a big deal out of it. This year though we really couldn't settle on any plans.. that and I really like staying home now a days (thanks to the kitties) and we haven't been home all weekend.. so we are watching it here. so we needed munchies. and of course we ended up spending $50!! *rolls eyes* I made a tex mex type of casserole. I saw them make it on the today show the other day, and they swore it was going to be on their website, but it wasn't.. so I kinda faked it. Hope it comes out ok.. I suppose if it doesn't, we have plenty of other food here, including left over chinese..

Tomorrow I need to go out and run some errands.. also need to pick up that kitten room. Tuesday Im at the shelter. Im also going to take my dad out to lunch probably one day this week... birthday lunch :) he also wants some help getting his computer set up to do what he wants it to do with regards to his checking account.. so I might get over there to do that too.

Man.. If I had a job, Id never have a minute to breath..

I'm sorry.
I'll be good.
This time I promise,
Love is more important than sex.
Now I understand.
I have 2 go now.
I don't know when I'll return.
Good-bye

I woke up so cold this morning. I HATE when that happens. Not sure why it does, but it usually happens a few days in a row.. sigh. Cause Im under the covers .. and I just can't get warm.. Im all shivery and miserable.. I cuddle deeper into the covers and eventually I warm up, but them Im so warm Im sweating, and I don't want to get out from the covers cause I know I'll be cold again. *sigh* Don't you just love these little insites into my life?

I didn't go to the shelter again today.. *slaps hand* bad girl. Im still not right physically, and I really just want to go take a nap. I have been exercising through out this cold (well except for the first two days) and for some reason today was the hardest.. actually had to stop half way through. but hey.. at least I got through it.. *pats back*

well.. I should go take a shower, have some lunch, take a nap..

why is it my computer gets 1hour behind the current time. If I leave my computer running - which I do - *looks at clock* ARRGH! its STILL an hour behind. I rebooted and everything. *resets clock* if this stupid thing looses time again Im going to have to "have a talk" with it.. *sticks tongue out at computer*

Well.. my domain is up and moved. $15 a year 100mb of space 4gb of data transfer.. I couldn't be happier.. although I have to wait for my domain name to propergate through the servers, but in about 72 hours I should be all set. Im moving the kitty blog back..
its hosted at dr2.net if your interested.. the uptime seems to be great as well

Went to the dentist today.. clean bill of health. Although they gave me the whole "floss more" speach. yea yea yea.. Went shopping afterwards. Got a few beanies, a carmel apple candle, a couple of cat toys, a cute greeting sign made of wood with kitties on them. about half way through my shopping, I got a major bout of nausia. I kept mentally yelling at myself not to throw up. I walked into a craft store, and the smell of potpourri was overwhelming.. I had to leave immediately for fear of throwing up all over the cute teddies and other crafts. I have no idea where it came from, unless it was a reaction to the polish they used on my teeth.. which doesn't quite make sence since it had been half an hour before.. but whatever. got some pork and some nice meat rub and had that for dinner.

Ive taken up reading again. I like reading. finished a book in a day.. started up another today, and Im only on chapter 2 and it seems quite intersting. its a 'girlie' book.. Ive never been too into those.. but hey.. my mother gave it to me, so I thought Id pick it up and give it a chance :)

just so you know.. breathing is highly under rated.
I want you to take a nice deep breath. Could you do it through both of your nostrils, and not end up coughing?
consider yourself to be having a pretty good day.

man.. i haven't blogged all week. Guess that is what new kitties will do to you :)
Actually, tuesday I cleaned the house. Wednesday I went shopping, thursday I went to the shelter and got sick, friday I was sick, and today I am sick. I have the head cold from hell. It is so bad that when I went to the doc on friday for my depo shot, I asked her to look at me, and she gave me a strep test, which was negitive. Ive just been laying in bed.. and the sad thing is if I do that for too long I start getting leg cramps and a pain in my chest, so I have to get up.. so I come and sit in the chair, cause when I stand up I get major head rushes... so much so it affects my vision. Its not pretty. I also can't taste a darn thing. Well.. I have hints of taste.. which I have to say, loosing your sence of taste really bites. Almost as much as rudolph nose.

'rents are back from Florida. They say they want to move there. I say more power to them. Can you tell they are not my favorite people in the world right now. I wonder if that will ever change. I hated them growing up. I was starting to be able to stand them, now Im back to not liking them very much. btw.. they aren't serious about moving. Although in a few more years they might join the snowbirds.. (there is a large population of older folks that summer here, and winter in Florida)

We are going to visit them tomorrow. They actually invited us over for dinner. Pot roast. They probably brought us back something.. which will never go with my decor or lifestyle, but whatever.. It is the thought that counts.... right?

I suppose I really should get over my bitterness, but right now, Im too sick to make that kind of change.

I watched the episode of trading spaces that had the live reveal. Must say, I HATED the living room that hildi did. Infact I dislike most rooms hildi does. that flower bathroom really bit the big one. The red in the cabinets was ok, but the flowers? come on. How on earth are they going to keep that clean? Back to the live reveal though.. I must say that was a bit of a let down. Looked just like all the others except Paige got a little overly excited.

*yawn* well I suppose.. it is midnight after all.

Went to the family party on saturday. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was at my cousin sheila's house. She is a few years older than my older sister (who's three years older than me) and somehow she ended up marrying a guy I went to school with (well he's a year older than I am) kinda freaky situation for me.. but not so much, if you know what I mean. Anyway. He's in construction, and built himself a HUGE house. I hadn't seen it till saturday. It was very nice. They had been in there a year though, and there were still very obvious unfinished parts. They also did a painting technique in their family room that was an off white wall, with almost a blood red ragged on. it looked.. well you can imagine. I got six ceramic pop over cups. Hubby got a star trek book and a walmart calendar. stood around for a while listening to a potty training discussion.. surprisingly I was able to add to the conversation. Had another conversation with my cousin sue, who is quite a bit older than I am. She commented that she thought I looked nice, and possibly lost weight. I wasn't sure about the weight part, and thanked her for the complement. She ended up telling me she has always thought I was pretty. Why is it family never tells each other that?

We took his truck to the party. Its a big thing, with nothing in the back and rear wheel drive (do you know where Im going with this?) their driveway slopes down quite a bit, and was snow covered.. yup.. we got stuck. he thought if he went forward, it would help him get a running start up the hill, but nope.. just got us stuck further down the hill. I recommended we turn around but that just succeeded in sticking us sideways. I suggested I get out and push, and the hubby pshawed that, but I did anyway. I was successful a bit, but then the "men" had come out of the house and got us going. although they left us at the top of the hill, which was still on the hill, and we couldn't get going out of that, so they came back up and pushed us on to the street.

On the way home the hubby and I had a conversation about the complement sue gave me. He commented that it must be nice to hear from someone other than him... which it was. While growing up I didn't get much positive reinforcement that I was pretty, in fact, it was quite the opposite. To this day I don't think I am. And you know what, that is fine by me. the whole humble thing is good. :) and besides, it has always made me work on being pretty on the inside, which frankly is WAY more important to me!

Yesterday we went over to doug and sara's. we sat and talked, we ate pizza, I got the baby pawned off on me.. he went to sleep for a couple of hours while we watched I love the 80's on VH1. I graduated in the 80's, so I remember a lot of it vividly. it was still fun to watch. They decided the baby was hungry. Sara breast feeds, but she had pumped, and so there was a bottle. I offered to feed him. I ended up getting him to drink the whole 2oz, which apparently was a big deal. they were quite impressed, and offered to hire me. :) I reminded them I don't do diapers.. which set off a whole conversation which I won't get into here, but Im sure you can imagine.. lol.

I finally dropped my class today. (classes start today). I feel a little guilty about it, but not so much on other levels. part of me is telling me to call and register for that internet class.. but the other part, a much larger part, is telling me to go back to bed.

I like that part. I think I'll give it a piece of chocolate before listening to it :)

aarrgh

apparently they have drained their hot tub and have no plans to fill it till after they get back.

sigh

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
My mother is on the phone at the moment giving my hubby directions to the family christmas party. why?
cause we don't know where my cousin's new house is, and they are going to be in FLORIDA!
what they wont do to get out of going to this freakin party.

Well at least they'll be gone and I'll feel comfortable going over and using their hot tub..

oh good goodness im bored.
there is so much I could be doing, but darn it, I really don't want to do any of it.
The house is a mess
dinner needs to be made
books to be read
kitties to cuddle.. well some of them
I even have a list of craft projects I could be doing.. but noooo..
Id apparently rather sit here and bitch cause Im cold, and I have nothing to do.
why is it we get in these moods..
I know Im not the only one.

Moved my beanie wall downstairs. Man that was work. Ollie is beyond happy that he can sit on the half wall again. This room looks so weird with out them there. makes the mess stand out even more.. *sigh* guess its time to do some serious cleaning in this room. tomorrow I guess.

the kittens are at the vets getting neutered. I still have to come up with names for them. I SUCK at coming up with good names.

Family christmas party is this weekend. yup.. christmas seems so far away now. but my silly family has decided to have it this weekend. What ever. I still need to hook up with one more friend to get rid of his gift out of my livingroom. Will probably end up having to go down to MA to where he lives to do it. Maybe next weekend... although its been so long since we've been there will probably have to bug him for directions :)

a friend of mine *looks at linda* was talking about her on line personality vs her real life personality.. she says her's aren't the same.
got me to thinking.. a dangerous past time - i know

but lets see.. what's different about me in RL..
Well.... Im not nearly as outgoing in RL than here.. I keep trying. I made a decision one year when I was still in school to not be such a wall flower. after that I used to walk up to people and introduce myself. Made a couple of really good friends that way too :). I asked a guy I had a crush on to a dance. That was fun. I had so much confidence till I heard a few things through back channels that immediately ended my crush on the guy and dropped my self esteem back down the the pathetically low levels it usually is... which brings me to the second thing that is different here than there.. in RL, while I do think Im pretty awesome.. I don't think the rest of the world thinks so. and yes... that bothers me. I try not to let it. Tell myself things like it does not matter what other people think of you (and it DOESN'T!! just so you know) and I remind myself to be the best me I can be.. on some level it does matter. I suppose this is a good thing. If I thought I were perfect and had no room for improvement then what a boring life that would be wouldn't it? If there was nothing else to learn, nothing else to strive for.. what would be the point? anyway I tend not to blow my own horn for the most part.. and for the most part don't stand up for myself when lifes little annoyances tap on my shoulder (but when they get in my face, watch out!).

So anyway.. I am happy with who I am. If the magical faerie came and offered me three self centered wishes Id probably wish for clear skin, the perfect healthy weight for my frame no matter what I ate, and for my eyes to be 20/20. :) all physical stuff. yup. Im happy with who I am and I like the journey I am on. Don't like me? well then.. that's fine. there is a reason there are millions of people in this world. and maybe you should be hanging out with one of them instead of here ...

Im thinking about redoing my website yet again. I don't think its easily navigatable.. and sadly -like most websites- people stop at the front page and dont really explore.. its a pita to do it though, so it will probably be a few months from now.

Im seriously considering dropping all classes this winter and starting up in the fall. Probably not a smart move as I will probably run out of things to do and get cabin fever, but I really can't fathom taking a class right now. I have till monday to make the decision..

Ive also got a massive headache. I should probably go take a nap as we are probably going to see the new baby tonight. The bedroom is freezing though. I opened up the windows before I left this morning.. trying to air out that room as I have had some major allergy attacks in there since we moved all the furniture around. *looks at couch and considers sleeping on that*... nope.. not a good idea. too many kitties use it :)

watched the bone collector last night, then went to bed, had some really strange dreams. Can't remember any of them now.. but I didn't get all that much sleep cause of that and cause of the kittens.. sigh.
I also really need to do something about school. Im signed up for a class I really don't want to take yet, and Im not signed up for a class I did want to take.. plus I have no money to take classes to begin with, so part of me is saying just back out of it all and wait till the fall. Yes.. I don't really want my degree. I just don't want to not have it. Hard place to be.

kitties are all telling me to go take a nap.. I should listen to them

"Sand Or Stone?"

A story tells that two friends were walking through
the desert. In a specific point of the journey, they
had an argument, and one friend slapped the
other one on the face. The one who got slapped
was hurt, but without anything to say, he wrote
in the sand:

"TODAY, MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME ON
THE FACE."

They kept on walking, until they found an oasis,
where they decided to take a bath. The one who
got slapped and hurt started drowning, and the
other friend saved him. When he recovered from
the fright, he wrote on a stone:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE"

The friend who saved and slapped his best friend,
asked him, "Why, after I hurt you, you wrote in the
sand, and now you write on a stone?"

The other friend, smiling, replied: "When a
friend hurts us, we should write it down in the
sand, where the winds of forgiveness get in
charge of erasing it away, and when something
great happens, we should engrave it in the stone
of the memory of the heart, where no wind can
erase it."

1. Learn to write in the sand, when you have
difference and hurt feelings with your friend.

2. Learn to write in stone when your friend had
some thing done really good to you.

sigh. Im broke again. Hubby just did the finances and we need to do some serious cut backs for a couple of months. I was really hoping to get a good cat tree/piece of furniture for the kitties as they have a tendancy to scratch on the sofa. there is one on ebay.. and he's offering free shipping.. and its only a little more than a hundred dollars.. its such a deal.. sigh. Hopefully it will still be being sold when we are back on top of things a bit.

its still snowing here. It started yesterday when we were on our way to the hospital. Sara our friend and niece finally gave birth. Elijah Scott.. born at 7:11pm 9lbs 3oz.. 21 in head.. very large feet.. we didn't get to see sara.. but we did see doug.. he was so proud.. she was induced that morning and was in labor all day. we were supposed to get 12+ inches, but come this morning we seemed to only have four or five.. but the wind was screaming, and under my car I could actually see the pavement. Although it snowed all day, and will snow into the night, so who knows how much we'll have by the time we are done.