2.28.2003
2.27.2003
went to ruby tuesdays tonight. Never been there before, and the menu looked quite good. I ordered some chicken tenders cause it really caught my eye for some reason. The hubby got the stonewall chicken. We got some spinach queso dip w/ chips as an appetiser. The dip wasn't bad. It was addicting. It seemed to be made out of canned cheese soup though. Not the highest quality... but decent. Hubby's meal was pretty good. Came on a bed of rice pilaf. Which was incredibly good. Usually rice pilaf is really bland.. not much more than white rice, but this one was nice and tasty. However the jack cheese on his chicken was just a slice of cheese.. like something you'd get at the grocery deli. My chicken was good. not dry - not all that juicy either.. but still on the good side. The meal came with cole slaw and two dressings for the chicken - honey mustard and bbq sauce. The cole slaw was good till I hit a patch that tasted like it was just coated in mayo. However, while dipping a fry in the bbq sauce, I ran into something that didn't belong there. I was quite repulsed. Turns out it was a piece of bacon. I had noticed just before I found it that the sauces seemed to have a coating on them, like they had been sitting out for a while. I called over the waitress, they took it out back and examened it. The manager told me it was bacon and that it probably got there cause the sauce sat next to the grill where they cook the burgers. I explained how unacceptable that was.
Hubby commented that it always seems to be my meal that has something wrong with it when we go out. I told him its cause I care about such things, and if it had been his meal he would have just assumed it was an onion stick (part of the meal.. wafer thin onion rings) and just eaten the rest of his meal.
I went to the shelter today.. was quite productive. Went to walmart, then realized I forgot my wallet (arrgh) fortunately I had enough cash on me to get the few important things I wanted (well except the batteries). Went to Sarah's to drop off the baby stuff I bought her a few weeks back. She and doug stopped by to get them, and left them here, and the hubby kept forgetting to bring them to him at work. Visited with her for a while. Its been 8 weeks and she's still bleeding apparently. Not good. Went to my parents to drop off the blue sueade shoes I bought for my incoming nephew (he's due on the 4 of april) Mentioned that hubby's birthday was tomorrow, and accepted an invitation for dinner on sunday (cause he's going skiing tomorrow and we are going out on saturday). I finagled us a roast beef with yorkshire pudding dinner (yea!). Came home. We went to ruby's. THen we went to walmart where we got batteries and some cat food. Then went to the pet store to get tooth brushes for all the kitties - yes. for some reason I feel they should each have their own.. . Now.. its time for bed. I do have a pict I need to edit and post.. but then its bed (see the kitty blog for the pict)
Hubby commented that it always seems to be my meal that has something wrong with it when we go out. I told him its cause I care about such things, and if it had been his meal he would have just assumed it was an onion stick (part of the meal.. wafer thin onion rings) and just eaten the rest of his meal.
I went to the shelter today.. was quite productive. Went to walmart, then realized I forgot my wallet (arrgh) fortunately I had enough cash on me to get the few important things I wanted (well except the batteries). Went to Sarah's to drop off the baby stuff I bought her a few weeks back. She and doug stopped by to get them, and left them here, and the hubby kept forgetting to bring them to him at work. Visited with her for a while. Its been 8 weeks and she's still bleeding apparently. Not good. Went to my parents to drop off the blue sueade shoes I bought for my incoming nephew (he's due on the 4 of april) Mentioned that hubby's birthday was tomorrow, and accepted an invitation for dinner on sunday (cause he's going skiing tomorrow and we are going out on saturday). I finagled us a roast beef with yorkshire pudding dinner (yea!). Came home. We went to ruby's. THen we went to walmart where we got batteries and some cat food. Then went to the pet store to get tooth brushes for all the kitties - yes. for some reason I feel they should each have their own.. . Now.. its time for bed. I do have a pict I need to edit and post.. but then its bed (see the kitty blog for the pict)
2.26.2003
Honestly, I have to say there is very little joy in my life right now. There's muffin. There are some lime tarts I made the other day from a jar of lime curd I found in the cubbard. There is the fact I lost another pound.. but I spend a lot of my time right now being sad and angry. I know its temporary.. ok.. so I hope its temporary. I hope the more days that go by that my kitties don't get ill the easier it will be to move past this.
I should go out and do something.. but I don't know what. I could go shopping, but frankly I don't really have the money nor do I need any more stuff. I could go out to eat, but there isn't any where that is all that healthy (see the lost pound bit) and I know Id just feel guilty about it.
although I did just put new sheets on the bed. They are woolrich flannel. very soft and comfy.. I like bed. I like to sleep..
but some how that just seems counter productive..
but then again, there isn't anything to do to not feel helpless in this situation..
I still hate people.
(and while those lime tarts aren't all that and a side of pickles.. but they are good.. which surprised me and thus the happiness. how lame am I? but hey.. Im taking my happiness where I can find it. like this really cute bottle of celestial seasoning lemon zinger iced tea. Its got their teddybear logo all over it.. and its not bad tasting either.)
I should go out and do something.. but I don't know what. I could go shopping, but frankly I don't really have the money nor do I need any more stuff. I could go out to eat, but there isn't any where that is all that healthy (see the lost pound bit) and I know Id just feel guilty about it.
although I did just put new sheets on the bed. They are woolrich flannel. very soft and comfy.. I like bed. I like to sleep..
but some how that just seems counter productive..
but then again, there isn't anything to do to not feel helpless in this situation..
I still hate people.
(and while those lime tarts aren't all that and a side of pickles.. but they are good.. which surprised me and thus the happiness. how lame am I? but hey.. Im taking my happiness where I can find it. like this really cute bottle of celestial seasoning lemon zinger iced tea. Its got their teddybear logo all over it.. and its not bad tasting either.)
2.21.2003
I am so flippin angry. Im angry at the people who didn't take care of their pets and caused this (read the kittyblog). Im angry at the shelter for not testing for it, and for not vacinating for it, and for not doing more (what more could they have done.. be reasonalbe.. I don't want to be reasonable.. Im being angry right now) Im mad at God for letting them get infected. Im very very mad at God right now. I hope he understands. I really.. and I mean REALLY have had enough of this life. Im sick and tired of all the pain and the agony. Im sick of the evil and mean and ignorant people. Ive been beatten and worn down by it all. Im sick and tired of all of this.
see that shadow in the corner of the room that seems to be sobbing. That's me. because anger only gets you so far.
see that shadow in the corner of the room that seems to be sobbing. That's me. because anger only gets you so far.
tuesday I had a good conversation with the hubby. Called him on a few fibs he told. Opened his eyes to how much he hurt me. Hes been pretty good since. (although there are some chores of his that are undone, but hey.. you can't have everything)
One of my kittens is ill and needs to be put to sleep. Looks like today is going to be the day. Made the decision yesterday to do it. Ive been living with it ever since. I keep telling myself it is the best thing for the kitty, and that is carrying me through this, but when I lay down to go to sleep, I can't help but mull over it and start sobbing, so I've been playing my "go to sleep" game. I am giving three wishes.. what would I wish for. the three wishes change on a regular basis.. depending on what's keeping me awake. Last night it was
1) no human could physically hurt another human being, endangered animal or compainion animal - unless that pain was in the best interest of the other person or they consented.
2) everybodies body worked exactly as it was designed to do. High metabolisms, perfect eyesite, no more cancers. Everyone dies of old age in their sleep.
3) kodi got better
Yea yea yea.. that last one kept popping up.. couldn't get past it. although I tried to convince myself to go with the magically disappearing credit card balance one.. (I can charge up to my limit each month, but then the balance just disappears each month and I never have to pay it) I also tried to do the whole dream house thing. What would it look like, what colors would be the rooms, what cool things would I have in it ( hot tub - sauna - etc).. but I couldn't concentrate on those. I eventually fell asleep. Had a dream that I created a new polymer that was water proof and heat retardant and was about as thick as a piece of plastic wrap. Yup. Im weird.
I need to get up off my duff and exercise. I just don't have the emotional fortitude to do it. I just want to sit here and cuddle with my bear and preferably a kitty and make the whole day go away.
One of my kittens is ill and needs to be put to sleep. Looks like today is going to be the day. Made the decision yesterday to do it. Ive been living with it ever since. I keep telling myself it is the best thing for the kitty, and that is carrying me through this, but when I lay down to go to sleep, I can't help but mull over it and start sobbing, so I've been playing my "go to sleep" game. I am giving three wishes.. what would I wish for. the three wishes change on a regular basis.. depending on what's keeping me awake. Last night it was
1) no human could physically hurt another human being, endangered animal or compainion animal - unless that pain was in the best interest of the other person or they consented.
2) everybodies body worked exactly as it was designed to do. High metabolisms, perfect eyesite, no more cancers. Everyone dies of old age in their sleep.
3) kodi got better
Yea yea yea.. that last one kept popping up.. couldn't get past it. although I tried to convince myself to go with the magically disappearing credit card balance one.. (I can charge up to my limit each month, but then the balance just disappears each month and I never have to pay it) I also tried to do the whole dream house thing. What would it look like, what colors would be the rooms, what cool things would I have in it ( hot tub - sauna - etc).. but I couldn't concentrate on those. I eventually fell asleep. Had a dream that I created a new polymer that was water proof and heat retardant and was about as thick as a piece of plastic wrap. Yup. Im weird.
I need to get up off my duff and exercise. I just don't have the emotional fortitude to do it. I just want to sit here and cuddle with my bear and preferably a kitty and make the whole day go away.
2.16.2003
Im sitting here wanting to go postal all over the hubby..
He totally bit the big one on Vday.. and before I could explain why he got quite ill.
He's in recovery, and totally blowing it again.. totally .. and I mean TOTALLY taking me for granted..
I just want to crack him over the head with this bottle here..
If I could do it in a toon/movie sort of way I probably would..
jerk.
He totally bit the big one on Vday.. and before I could explain why he got quite ill.
He's in recovery, and totally blowing it again.. totally .. and I mean TOTALLY taking me for granted..
I just want to crack him over the head with this bottle here..
If I could do it in a toon/movie sort of way I probably would..
jerk.
2.13.2003
this is a bit of a cross post. the first half is on the kitty blog, so if you read that there, just skip to the middle
I colored my hair today. I do that on occasion for something to do and cause I love the way my hair feels afterwards (VERY conditioned and silky) I always dye it the exact same color it is.. maybe a shade brighter, but being red, it often fades to the exact same shade (aka when it grows out you can not tell)
anyway. I knew with muffin and eli that I wouldn't be able to do it in peace unless I shut the door. So I did. Put all the color in my hair, put my hair in a shower cap, cleaned up the mess, searched for any spills, found one, cleaned it up, and went out into the living room to await my time.
When it was almost up, I went back into the bathroom, and opened up the shower curtian and found four kitty paw prints in red hair dye. I paniced.. not only cause hair dye on kitties isn't a good idea, but also cause I KNEW there would be little red kitty prints on the bed, on the carpet and on the sofa... So I ran out to find Eli. I KNEW it was Eli cause he loves playing in the bathtub. (yup.. he's a silly kitty) Found him right away, and the underside of his front paw was all red. Not a good look.. started to get dark enough to look bloody. I took him into the bathroom and washed it till I felt he was safe. Used a TON of kitty shampoo... then I noticed his back foot was dirty too. *rolls eyes*. Eli wasn't very happy with getting his feet washed. they were still a little red when I was done. I couldn't help but think of the brady bunch.. lol
The dye had sat on the tub and the edge so long that it didn't just wipe up.. thank goodness for the product called "kaboom". took it right off. I felt bad rinsing off all that dye in my white tub, with its white walls, and white shower curtian. It looked like something out of psycho..
had to go out shopping this afternoon.. MAN it was cold. its going to get to -35 tonight.. yes.. -35.. aka 62 degrees below freezing..
its a five kitty and an extra quilt night tonight.
I colored my hair today. I do that on occasion for something to do and cause I love the way my hair feels afterwards (VERY conditioned and silky) I always dye it the exact same color it is.. maybe a shade brighter, but being red, it often fades to the exact same shade (aka when it grows out you can not tell)
anyway. I knew with muffin and eli that I wouldn't be able to do it in peace unless I shut the door. So I did. Put all the color in my hair, put my hair in a shower cap, cleaned up the mess, searched for any spills, found one, cleaned it up, and went out into the living room to await my time.
When it was almost up, I went back into the bathroom, and opened up the shower curtian and found four kitty paw prints in red hair dye. I paniced.. not only cause hair dye on kitties isn't a good idea, but also cause I KNEW there would be little red kitty prints on the bed, on the carpet and on the sofa... So I ran out to find Eli. I KNEW it was Eli cause he loves playing in the bathtub. (yup.. he's a silly kitty) Found him right away, and the underside of his front paw was all red. Not a good look.. started to get dark enough to look bloody. I took him into the bathroom and washed it till I felt he was safe. Used a TON of kitty shampoo... then I noticed his back foot was dirty too. *rolls eyes*. Eli wasn't very happy with getting his feet washed. they were still a little red when I was done. I couldn't help but think of the brady bunch.. lol
The dye had sat on the tub and the edge so long that it didn't just wipe up.. thank goodness for the product called "kaboom". took it right off. I felt bad rinsing off all that dye in my white tub, with its white walls, and white shower curtian. It looked like something out of psycho..
had to go out shopping this afternoon.. MAN it was cold. its going to get to -35 tonight.. yes.. -35.. aka 62 degrees below freezing..
its a five kitty and an extra quilt night tonight.
2.12.2003
*grumble* stupid kitties.. I put a jigsaw puzzle together the other day, and its on a board I put it on the floor for safe keeping till I could get some tape to tape it up, and they pushed it off the board and broke up quite a bit of it. So I put it back together, and put the board on the sofa.. stupid kitties have knocked it off the board and broke up quite a bit of it again..
although technically its probably stupid me for leaving it out in the path of kitties..
Its snowing here. I was going to go out and run some errands.. but now I don't want to.. although I do kinda have to..
*sigh*
going to be doing a lot of things I don't want to in the next few days..
although technically its probably stupid me for leaving it out in the path of kitties..
Its snowing here. I was going to go out and run some errands.. but now I don't want to.. although I do kinda have to..
*sigh*
going to be doing a lot of things I don't want to in the next few days..
2.11.2003
Make it go away or make it better
Isn’t that what love’s supposed to do
Make it go away or make it better
Cause I would do either one for you
This is not the way you should see me
This is not the face I recognize
Could I lay my head down here for a moment
Would you sing to me like I’m your child
Cause I’m not angry I’m not crying
I’m just in over my head
You could be the angel that stayed on my shoulder
When all of the other angels left
Make it go away or make it better
Cause I am waking
This more then one should have to take
If you do this for me then I will promise
I’ll make it go away for you someday
There are reasons silver linings
There are lessons but I don’t care
Cause I just need a hand that I can hold onto
When it’s darker then death out there
I’m so cold
And so far away from my home
But tonight you’re
You’re where I belong
You’re everything right
When I’m everything wrong
Make it go away or make it better
Isn’t that what love’s supposed to do
Make it go away or make it better
Cause I would do either one for you
(repeat)
~Holly Cole - Make It Go Away
Isn’t that what love’s supposed to do
Make it go away or make it better
Cause I would do either one for you
This is not the way you should see me
This is not the face I recognize
Could I lay my head down here for a moment
Would you sing to me like I’m your child
Cause I’m not angry I’m not crying
I’m just in over my head
You could be the angel that stayed on my shoulder
When all of the other angels left
Make it go away or make it better
Cause I am waking
This more then one should have to take
If you do this for me then I will promise
I’ll make it go away for you someday
There are reasons silver linings
There are lessons but I don’t care
Cause I just need a hand that I can hold onto
When it’s darker then death out there
I’m so cold
And so far away from my home
But tonight you’re
You’re where I belong
You’re everything right
When I’m everything wrong
Make it go away or make it better
Isn’t that what love’s supposed to do
Make it go away or make it better
Cause I would do either one for you
(repeat)
~Holly Cole - Make It Go Away
vet just called.. ok.. not quite an hour ago..
Kodi has FIP.. he has absolutely no immune system, and there for absolutely no chance.
all the kitties will need to go in to be tested.
Gonna have to make the hubby make these arrangements..
Will probably put kodi down sooner than later. He was eating the other day, but today just wasn't into it.
probably when the hubby gets home..
friday..
happy valentines day to me hun?
Kodi has FIP.. he has absolutely no immune system, and there for absolutely no chance.
all the kitties will need to go in to be tested.
Gonna have to make the hubby make these arrangements..
Will probably put kodi down sooner than later. He was eating the other day, but today just wasn't into it.
probably when the hubby gets home..
friday..
happy valentines day to me hun?
2.10.2003
2.07.2003
my life is in such termoil right now. Sadly when that happens I just need to cocoon.. I know this probably frustrates my friends, and my deepest appologies. I'll be back around once we get the tests back for Kodi..
but then again, if I start getting positive tests back for anyone else, I'll be attached to a puffs box yet again..
*sigh*
More on the kitty blog
but then again, if I start getting positive tests back for anyone else, I'll be attached to a puffs box yet again..
*sigh*
More on the kitty blog
2.05.2003
2.04.2003
went to the shelter today. The woman I normally "work" for had to run to the dentist that morning (She lost a filling - ouch!) but she left some work out for me, so I did that all, then went down to kittery to do a little shopping. I have been wanting to get some more angora socks. They seem to be the only thing that has been able to keep my feet warm. I have one pair. Sadly though they are shrinking every time they get washed. Ive mentioned that to the laundry man (cause I apparently do laundry WRONG).. and he keeps forgetting. and frankly, if he starts doing it WRONG, then that means I have to start doing it, so I'll just keep my mouth shut and go buy a few new pairs *grin*
anyway.. went to the sock outlet store in kittery (You have GOT to love outlet stores) and got a few pairs. be warned though if you go... they don't take checks. My credit cards weren't in my wallet (none of them! how on earth did THAT happen?) fortunately I had some cash. I also went to the craft store.. a store for crafters as opposed to a craft supply store.. found the cutest little sign, it had a picture of a cat on it, and it said something to the effect that I can go from normal to insane in 1.5 seconds. It made me giggle. I almost bought it, but I had no where to put it. I also saw a really cute wooden pumpkin. it wasn't much bigger than your thumb nail, and they wanted almost $3.00 for it. Yup.. didn't buy that either. I went to the lenox store.. found some cute gifties for a friend. Didn't get them as I have a coupon and I had forgotten it, so I'll probably be back soon. Went the pfsomething or other store.. the other china company that starts with PF (and has a really annoying name for someone who is spelling impaired) They are having a major sale on their winter products, which includes some polar bear salt and pepper shakers which I totally fell in love with, but were still about $20. I decided since I had to come back to lenox, Id see if there were any on sale on ebay.. *crosses fingers* I did get a bowl and some long boat like thing, and a cup, and four votive holders, all with polar bears on it.
Im thinking when I redo my look here, it will probably be done in polar bears..
I also went to the book store.. got a buffy the vampire slayer book on tape, a star trek book on tape, a cook book ... its a good concept.. trick yourself into eating healthy.. the recipes were good sounding *grin* I also got a couple of road atlases for the hubby for his birthday .. I get out of valentines day since he'll be away skiing.. aren't I such a good wife to let him go out of town on valentines day.. *rolls eyes*
I did really crappy on my diet last week. Lost only one pound in two weeks. guess that's what happens when you get pizza two days in a row.. oh those dominos dots are EVIL!!
anyway.. went to the sock outlet store in kittery (You have GOT to love outlet stores) and got a few pairs. be warned though if you go... they don't take checks. My credit cards weren't in my wallet (none of them! how on earth did THAT happen?) fortunately I had some cash. I also went to the craft store.. a store for crafters as opposed to a craft supply store.. found the cutest little sign, it had a picture of a cat on it, and it said something to the effect that I can go from normal to insane in 1.5 seconds. It made me giggle. I almost bought it, but I had no where to put it. I also saw a really cute wooden pumpkin. it wasn't much bigger than your thumb nail, and they wanted almost $3.00 for it. Yup.. didn't buy that either. I went to the lenox store.. found some cute gifties for a friend. Didn't get them as I have a coupon and I had forgotten it, so I'll probably be back soon. Went the pfsomething or other store.. the other china company that starts with PF (and has a really annoying name for someone who is spelling impaired) They are having a major sale on their winter products, which includes some polar bear salt and pepper shakers which I totally fell in love with, but were still about $20. I decided since I had to come back to lenox, Id see if there were any on sale on ebay.. *crosses fingers* I did get a bowl and some long boat like thing, and a cup, and four votive holders, all with polar bears on it.
Im thinking when I redo my look here, it will probably be done in polar bears..
I also went to the book store.. got a buffy the vampire slayer book on tape, a star trek book on tape, a cook book ... its a good concept.. trick yourself into eating healthy.. the recipes were good sounding *grin* I also got a couple of road atlases for the hubby for his birthday .. I get out of valentines day since he'll be away skiing.. aren't I such a good wife to let him go out of town on valentines day.. *rolls eyes*
I did really crappy on my diet last week. Lost only one pound in two weeks. guess that's what happens when you get pizza two days in a row.. oh those dominos dots are EVIL!!
2.03.2003
I bought a new sapphire ring from HSN the other day. Its fake sapphires, and its technibond, but you know what, for $20 Its an absolute steal.. I love lab created stones and technibond at HSN.. so pretty and so inexpensive. Anyway.. I got it in a size 10 so it would fit on my pointer finger. I went out to get the mail today, and it finally arrived. Well I was outside and the piles of ice on the drive way was bugging me, so I chopped some of it off - while holding the mail. I finally got inside and opened up the ring and put it on, and it didn't fit. I was furrious thinking they gave me a smaller size.. but I figured my fingers were just enlarged from the cold.. and they were.. it fits.
Weird thing about me.. both my ring fingers and thumbs are the same size (8.5).. and now Ive come to the realization that both of my middle and pointer fingers are also the same size. (10)
Weird thing about me.. both my ring fingers and thumbs are the same size (8.5).. and now Ive come to the realization that both of my middle and pointer fingers are also the same size. (10)
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