so now what

Well I just realized it has been many months between the last two posts.. Id love to say lots has happened, but it hasn't. Job still stinks. It got so bad that I read the paper and found a job at a vet. I applied, and I have an interview on tuesday. Other than that.. same ol same ol. I took on a few more responsiblities at work, but none of them REALLY matter. I would feel bad leaving my co-workers, but not so much so that Im not seriously considering doing it. Its only three days a week, and only about 23 hours and a four dollar an hour pay cut.. (wait.. why am I considering this??) I have to wonder if my current job would let me stay part time part of me thinks yes, but then another part says she really needs the help. Who knows. Who knows if I'll even be offered the new job. Saturday I was so sure that I was going to beg for the job, then as I was leaving, things seemed to get better. Im starting to feel more and more left out at work. Maybe Im bringing it upon myself since Im not one to join in idle gossip. Im usually the last one to hear about things for that reason.

Oh I don't know. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Maybe they wont want me, or maybe I wont want them. Who knows. I mean the commute will be about 5 or 10 minutes longer than it is now.. arrgh.

So maybe I should just give up working all together and sell stuff on ebay all day long... except I hate people and have had very little fun selling on ebay (except when the money comes in - hey.. wait.. sounds like every other job Ive had)

Well.. I should stop avoiding and either list stuff on ebay, or go work out. Anyone got a three sided coin..

cry if you want to

Ok.. Why on earth have I been on the edge of tears for a week now? hun? yea yea yea.. chemical imbalance, screwed up in the brain and body.. I get it.. but its just wrong! Ok yes, work sucks right now, and the hubby has spent ALL of our money on $12.00 lunches and I just want to kill him, so we are in a bit of a hole AT THE MOMENT. I know this. I know we'll get out of it. I know things will improve to the point where we.. no I have throwing around money again.. Im in good health, he's in good health, the kids are in good health, and the foster kids are in good health, roof over our head, full tank of oil, food in the pantry, gas in the car, car.. I mean come on. I have nothing to complain about.. (well except work, but even that I shouldn't, I mean I have a job) and I just want to cry and scream and throw things around and have a major two yr old type tantrum.

I don't think it will make me feel better. Ive done it in the past with very very very limited success.

Having money and or having money to go shopping wont either, since I do technically have money..

grrrr.

This better go away soon. (hoping just putting it down on 'paper' will help)