NOT! arrgh. Its frustrating. At least now I know I'm waking up after REM because I keep remembering my dreams (or at least that I had them) apparently my short term memory can only hold two dreams at a time - and no more. Sometimes not even that. Last night was working at a department store that is no longer in business (it was in my dream but not in real life) and the other was searching and finding space assassin kitties. yes.. space assassin kitties. go figure.
my weight is starting to come back down. was 188 on one scale this morning 187.5 on the other. now if I can just keep from blowing it this weekend *crosses fingers*
it is supposed to be a rainy wet weekend. Maybe I can get caught up on my TV viewing. Oh the curse of the end of summer shows and the start of the fall premiers.. National stay at home week? yea.. seriously, needing to call in sick to watch all the good TV out there.
9.26.2008
9.24.2008
generally out of it
These past couple of weeks haven't been fun for me at all. My chest is all congested - but my sinuses aren't. Go figure. I'm tired, and achy, and the sleeping pill I took did NOT help at all. Woke up the next morning quite sick like.. some weird combination of the flu and just a regular cold. No sneezing no coughing (well much) but Im congested in the chest, and my nose is running (not stuffed, but running) wtf?
I've been dreaming a LOT. I remember enough to remember how cool I thought the dreams were and how I wanted to blog about them, but then they were gone. I do remember last night I was dancing with my father. Don't know what that was about, but it was nice.
Dad did stop by recently. Washing machine bit the dust. I could spend $200 possibly fixing a 10+ yr old machine, or buy a new one. DH would have to help out with the fixing, and that is NOT his forte, so I just bit the bullet and spent $500 for a new one. it's bitchin. yea, you know your an adult when you get excited over a new appliance *rolls eyes at self* Actually I think the dryer was new when we moved into this house, and *thinks* either the frige was new or barely used.. I'm thinking it was barely used, because we did switch out the front pannels to get the stainless steel ones for on the cheap. Thats the thing about having a dad in the appliance repair trade... there are almost always used appliances hanging around when you need one.
Dad is doing well.. or as well as can be expected. Its weird how much he is looking like his older brother now. Both of them have that 'skin too large for their face' look. My uncle always seemed to have it, but now Dad really does.
Mom got a new job (was laid off from old job she had for 20+ years) and gets 3x the pay and four staff under her. She's the boss and dad says she's getting used to the idea. for 20+ years she was the underling.. its a few towns away, but she's going to commute for a couple of years before she retires. Which is good that they don't have to sell their house and move.. economy and all. Not that their house isn't prime, great location right in town... but still it is a hastle, so now they don't have to think about it.
another thing that has thrown me for a loop is the fact that my sis's husband had had an affair. She found out about it a few weeks ago. From what my dad said he told her and then expected her to get over it right away, and also told the councilor that he is stuck. He's been a house husband for so long... *smacks him on the back of his head*
the real kicker is that just a few weeks ago I actually had the thought, wondering if my sister's marriage would make it. My parent's did. Mine has.. (although by all rights it really shouldn't. My DH is a saint for putting up with me most days) and all the statistics out there.. seems that one or more of the marriages I know would fail.
Oddly enough, I have never known a marrige to break apart. No wait.. my cousin's did (after what seems like less than a year, but I did not know the husband, he wasn't very social) and my SIL's did (after what seemed like a week. she so should not have gotten married) these were marriages that were destined to fail. we knew it from the begining.
oh wait.. my BFOL left her husband. She is currently not divorsed but working on it, even though she's been separated from him for years, and has two children with another man ..
so I guess I shouldn't say that.. but it seems like in my day to day life - work, friends, immediately family - we were all stable. or so I thought.
she has two kids, so I kinda hope she can work it out. Actually I kinda hope he smartens the hell up and grovels like a dog who just peed in the house by accident.
I have no doubt that my sister would be fine with out him though. She is one strong woman.
I've been dreaming a LOT. I remember enough to remember how cool I thought the dreams were and how I wanted to blog about them, but then they were gone. I do remember last night I was dancing with my father. Don't know what that was about, but it was nice.
Dad did stop by recently. Washing machine bit the dust. I could spend $200 possibly fixing a 10+ yr old machine, or buy a new one. DH would have to help out with the fixing, and that is NOT his forte, so I just bit the bullet and spent $500 for a new one. it's bitchin. yea, you know your an adult when you get excited over a new appliance *rolls eyes at self* Actually I think the dryer was new when we moved into this house, and *thinks* either the frige was new or barely used.. I'm thinking it was barely used, because we did switch out the front pannels to get the stainless steel ones for on the cheap. Thats the thing about having a dad in the appliance repair trade... there are almost always used appliances hanging around when you need one.
Dad is doing well.. or as well as can be expected. Its weird how much he is looking like his older brother now. Both of them have that 'skin too large for their face' look. My uncle always seemed to have it, but now Dad really does.
Mom got a new job (was laid off from old job she had for 20+ years) and gets 3x the pay and four staff under her. She's the boss and dad says she's getting used to the idea. for 20+ years she was the underling.. its a few towns away, but she's going to commute for a couple of years before she retires. Which is good that they don't have to sell their house and move.. economy and all. Not that their house isn't prime, great location right in town... but still it is a hastle, so now they don't have to think about it.
another thing that has thrown me for a loop is the fact that my sis's husband had had an affair. She found out about it a few weeks ago. From what my dad said he told her and then expected her to get over it right away, and also told the councilor that he is stuck. He's been a house husband for so long... *smacks him on the back of his head*
the real kicker is that just a few weeks ago I actually had the thought, wondering if my sister's marriage would make it. My parent's did. Mine has.. (although by all rights it really shouldn't. My DH is a saint for putting up with me most days) and all the statistics out there.. seems that one or more of the marriages I know would fail.
Oddly enough, I have never known a marrige to break apart. No wait.. my cousin's did (after what seems like less than a year, but I did not know the husband, he wasn't very social) and my SIL's did (after what seemed like a week. she so should not have gotten married) these were marriages that were destined to fail. we knew it from the begining.
oh wait.. my BFOL left her husband. She is currently not divorsed but working on it, even though she's been separated from him for years, and has two children with another man ..
so I guess I shouldn't say that.. but it seems like in my day to day life - work, friends, immediately family - we were all stable. or so I thought.
she has two kids, so I kinda hope she can work it out. Actually I kinda hope he smartens the hell up and grovels like a dog who just peed in the house by accident.
I have no doubt that my sister would be fine with out him though. She is one strong woman.
9.04.2008
Foods I Love
You know, when you are on a diet, you are much more mindful of the foods you put in your mouth (ok at least you are supposed to be)
I find that a lot of my 'favorite foods' just don't hold my attention any more. They are ok, and I'll eat them, but I wonder why I thought they were so wonderful.
I vowed to make a list when I started finding foods that really make me sit up and take notice. I found one.
I bought day old biscuits from the local grocery store for my DH the other week. I ended up with a bite of one, and really enjoyed it. I figured it was just because I had just one bite and that the whole thing would quickly become old.
Well last night I couldn't sleep and felt the need for carbs. I had bought more day old biscuits for my DH, and remembered how much I liked the bite. I figured I could have one biscuit, or three or four 100 calorie packs that were sitting around the house. The math won, and I had a biscuit. toasted it, and put a very little bit of butter on it and OMG, I enjoyed every single solitary bite, and licked the plate of crumbs (ok I didn't, but I did pick off the bigger ones)
I love buttermilk biscuits.
that's one.
:)
you'd think at this rate I'd be as thin as a rail.. but alas, I find myself shoving in less than quality food because it is what is around. I mean heck, if you only had one food you loved, you'd be eating food you didn't *love* too.
I find that a lot of my 'favorite foods' just don't hold my attention any more. They are ok, and I'll eat them, but I wonder why I thought they were so wonderful.
I vowed to make a list when I started finding foods that really make me sit up and take notice. I found one.
I bought day old biscuits from the local grocery store for my DH the other week. I ended up with a bite of one, and really enjoyed it. I figured it was just because I had just one bite and that the whole thing would quickly become old.
Well last night I couldn't sleep and felt the need for carbs. I had bought more day old biscuits for my DH, and remembered how much I liked the bite. I figured I could have one biscuit, or three or four 100 calorie packs that were sitting around the house. The math won, and I had a biscuit. toasted it, and put a very little bit of butter on it and OMG, I enjoyed every single solitary bite, and licked the plate of crumbs (ok I didn't, but I did pick off the bigger ones)
I love buttermilk biscuits.
that's one.
:)
you'd think at this rate I'd be as thin as a rail.. but alas, I find myself shoving in less than quality food because it is what is around. I mean heck, if you only had one food you loved, you'd be eating food you didn't *love* too.
more dreams
I had three different dreams involving cats. THe first two I mostly remember at his point, the third is floating around, and I thought if I wrote down the first two it would come to me.
The first involved a very clutter filled great room. It was more than a bedroom, but it was so filled with stuff it was hard to tell what it was. In the room was a mother and her kitten. I was looking for them, and could find one, but not the other. first I found the kitten, then the mother, then the kitten was missing again. The dream ended with the kitten being on a turn table, and falling off on top of my head.
THe second was much more involved before the cats showed up. I was cleaning out a very clutter filled basement (ok, yes, there is something going on in my mind isn't there) there were other people involved, but no idea who. We emptied out the basment and started putting furniture back in around the outside of the room - in order to seat guests. Only thing was there were some weird things like a bed and a box. anything anyone could sit on. There was another queen sized bed we were trying to figure out how to get in the room when we realized it was starting to rain. I started running around like a crazy person thinking I had to get the debris off the lawn. We shoved the bed in the room, and I went outside up the stairs on to a deck, where there was a pool. There were a bunch of people in the pool either empting junk out of the pool, or trying to empty it. One young man (20s?) pulled a litterbox full of water up out of the bottom of the pool and threw it over the side. I looked where it went, and there was another pool with no one in it. I thought it would be fun to jump in, but I ended up sliding across the bottom of it, as there wasn't much water in it. I got out as the far end didn't have a wall and just walked out onto the lawn. I was on the side of the house now, and walked around to the other side (front?) which was actually ocean side. It was like a hotel / motel and where the parking lot would have been was sand, and then beyond that the ocean. There were a lot of people milling about. All of a sudden there were shots. I duck and tried to hide, trying to figure out where the shots were coming from. People were getting hit, but not near me, and not fatally or with an excess of gore. I saw the reactions of them being hit, but that was about it. I determined the shots were coming from the water. I looked down the beach and saw another group of people were also being shot at. I figured this was a good chance to try to get in the building, but as I got closer, the porch light was shot out, then the gas line popped, and a fire started in the light. Another shot shattered the glass door. I looked up to the windows in the second floor and saw it all on fire. I then noticed a large breed dog on the second floor trying to get down. It was as if he were a stuffed dog though, because he was moving rather stiffly, and eventually fell head first - but yet he was ok. At the site of the dog falling, I remembered my cats were in my room in the back, and I HAD to get to them. I ran for the door..
I woke up.
My dreams are so bizarre. I remember thinking my last dream was bizarre too.. wish I could remember it.
The first involved a very clutter filled great room. It was more than a bedroom, but it was so filled with stuff it was hard to tell what it was. In the room was a mother and her kitten. I was looking for them, and could find one, but not the other. first I found the kitten, then the mother, then the kitten was missing again. The dream ended with the kitten being on a turn table, and falling off on top of my head.
THe second was much more involved before the cats showed up. I was cleaning out a very clutter filled basement (ok, yes, there is something going on in my mind isn't there) there were other people involved, but no idea who. We emptied out the basment and started putting furniture back in around the outside of the room - in order to seat guests. Only thing was there were some weird things like a bed and a box. anything anyone could sit on. There was another queen sized bed we were trying to figure out how to get in the room when we realized it was starting to rain. I started running around like a crazy person thinking I had to get the debris off the lawn. We shoved the bed in the room, and I went outside up the stairs on to a deck, where there was a pool. There were a bunch of people in the pool either empting junk out of the pool, or trying to empty it. One young man (20s?) pulled a litterbox full of water up out of the bottom of the pool and threw it over the side. I looked where it went, and there was another pool with no one in it. I thought it would be fun to jump in, but I ended up sliding across the bottom of it, as there wasn't much water in it. I got out as the far end didn't have a wall and just walked out onto the lawn. I was on the side of the house now, and walked around to the other side (front?) which was actually ocean side. It was like a hotel / motel and where the parking lot would have been was sand, and then beyond that the ocean. There were a lot of people milling about. All of a sudden there were shots. I duck and tried to hide, trying to figure out where the shots were coming from. People were getting hit, but not near me, and not fatally or with an excess of gore. I saw the reactions of them being hit, but that was about it. I determined the shots were coming from the water. I looked down the beach and saw another group of people were also being shot at. I figured this was a good chance to try to get in the building, but as I got closer, the porch light was shot out, then the gas line popped, and a fire started in the light. Another shot shattered the glass door. I looked up to the windows in the second floor and saw it all on fire. I then noticed a large breed dog on the second floor trying to get down. It was as if he were a stuffed dog though, because he was moving rather stiffly, and eventually fell head first - but yet he was ok. At the site of the dog falling, I remembered my cats were in my room in the back, and I HAD to get to them. I ran for the door..
I woke up.
My dreams are so bizarre. I remember thinking my last dream was bizarre too.. wish I could remember it.
9.03.2008
more dreams
I had been dreaming a bit more lately. I had one last night that was a doozy, but I don't remember it. the night before I had put my hair up in curlers. I use U shaped curlers to make my hair look like i got a perm. During my dream I saw a U curler as a mouse run out from under a door. The U curlers in real life are bright blue, but in the dream it was the same shape, but fuzzy and mouse / rat colored. freaked me out and woke me up.
The night before that I had a dream that included freezing water, work, walter brimley and gimlets. ready for this? lol
It started off I was in a basement that was flooded with freezing sub zero waters. There were several men trying to chop ice at the drain to keep the water from flooding. the drain was on the far side of the building, and I wanted to help. To get there, I had to jump on to queen sized mattresses. I was warned the one in the far corner was covered with ice, so I probably wouldn't be able to stay on top of that one. I wasn't worried, because I saw no reason I'd need to get on that mattress. Well I worked my way over there, but once I got there I needed to move and get something (an ice pick?) and I ended up jumping on the iced mattress with out even thinking about it, and I started sliding toward the freezing water. Some guy stuck his leg/foot/work pole out and stopped me from falling off the mattress, but I did get a small portion of my body in the cold water. It was COLD and it hurt. but some how I didn't actually get wet. It was like I fell in inside of a plastic bag. I was frustrated, and the guys now thought I was a clutz, so I gave up and went to the bar instead. I found my husband's sisters there, and they asked me if the water was cold (yes, they are the queens of the obvious)and I said yes, and they went back to their conversation. So I went behind the bar to help out there. There wasn't much to do, so I emptied out a dishwasher, and proceeded to re-organize the glasswear. The bartender was using a dish towel and was drying off glasses, and proceeded to ask me how walter brimley was like a gimlet. I started to answer, but confused on how to, I woke up.
so, how is walter brimley like a gimlet?
The night before that I had a dream that included freezing water, work, walter brimley and gimlets. ready for this? lol
It started off I was in a basement that was flooded with freezing sub zero waters. There were several men trying to chop ice at the drain to keep the water from flooding. the drain was on the far side of the building, and I wanted to help. To get there, I had to jump on to queen sized mattresses. I was warned the one in the far corner was covered with ice, so I probably wouldn't be able to stay on top of that one. I wasn't worried, because I saw no reason I'd need to get on that mattress. Well I worked my way over there, but once I got there I needed to move and get something (an ice pick?) and I ended up jumping on the iced mattress with out even thinking about it, and I started sliding toward the freezing water. Some guy stuck his leg/foot/work pole out and stopped me from falling off the mattress, but I did get a small portion of my body in the cold water. It was COLD and it hurt. but some how I didn't actually get wet. It was like I fell in inside of a plastic bag. I was frustrated, and the guys now thought I was a clutz, so I gave up and went to the bar instead. I found my husband's sisters there, and they asked me if the water was cold (yes, they are the queens of the obvious)and I said yes, and they went back to their conversation. So I went behind the bar to help out there. There wasn't much to do, so I emptied out a dishwasher, and proceeded to re-organize the glasswear. The bartender was using a dish towel and was drying off glasses, and proceeded to ask me how walter brimley was like a gimlet. I started to answer, but confused on how to, I woke up.
so, how is walter brimley like a gimlet?
NSVs
Ok, so I went out on Labor day and practiced wanton consumerism. I spent WAY too much money, but I gave myself permission to, so it kinda washes out. I bought a $636 coat (it's baby alpaca fur) for $150.
and (now for the NSV) I bought my first pair of fitting Levi jeans since grade school.
I remember going to a local store to buy clothes for back to school, and really REALLY wanting Levis. Levi's were cheep here, and my sister got pair after pair, but my fat little tushie wouldn't fit into any pair there. They had walls of Levi's, but none of them fit me. I was devestated. Probably more so then the time my neighbor told me not to swing on her swingset because I was too big for them. fewer things in my life made me feel fat and huge and an outcast than not having Levi's in school.
Still irritates me when I think back on it.. I was 5'7" and about 150ish maybe 160ish... but still, not out of the range of normal for someone so tall.. so why didn't my ass fit into a pair of pants?? Was my mother just mean and not want to spend the extra money to get me name brand jeans so she picked out pairs that wouldn't fit? was this store just out of larger sizes that day? who knows. Maybe back in the 80s Levi's decided they only wanted super thin people to wear them. I never went back to look for them after that. It was no name jeans for me. and my self esteem (cause jeans matter to the school child - when they have so little control over their life anyway) took a hit.
and now, I own Levi's!
and now for a cute kitty story. I was downstairs taking care of my fosters, and all the kitties usually follow me down there. On the way back up, I decided to do a few stair push ups, and I got three in when Jack (my soul kitty) decided to run up the stairs, but not just anywhere, he had to run up between my arms just as I was starting another one and heading down. Ended up with a mouth full of Jack. I laughed so hard I couldn't get any more in.
and (now for the NSV) I bought my first pair of fitting Levi jeans since grade school.
I remember going to a local store to buy clothes for back to school, and really REALLY wanting Levis. Levi's were cheep here, and my sister got pair after pair, but my fat little tushie wouldn't fit into any pair there. They had walls of Levi's, but none of them fit me. I was devestated. Probably more so then the time my neighbor told me not to swing on her swingset because I was too big for them. fewer things in my life made me feel fat and huge and an outcast than not having Levi's in school.
Still irritates me when I think back on it.. I was 5'7" and about 150ish maybe 160ish... but still, not out of the range of normal for someone so tall.. so why didn't my ass fit into a pair of pants?? Was my mother just mean and not want to spend the extra money to get me name brand jeans so she picked out pairs that wouldn't fit? was this store just out of larger sizes that day? who knows. Maybe back in the 80s Levi's decided they only wanted super thin people to wear them. I never went back to look for them after that. It was no name jeans for me. and my self esteem (cause jeans matter to the school child - when they have so little control over their life anyway) took a hit.
and now, I own Levi's!
and now for a cute kitty story. I was downstairs taking care of my fosters, and all the kitties usually follow me down there. On the way back up, I decided to do a few stair push ups, and I got three in when Jack (my soul kitty) decided to run up the stairs, but not just anywhere, he had to run up between my arms just as I was starting another one and heading down. Ended up with a mouth full of Jack. I laughed so hard I couldn't get any more in.
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