179!

Ok.. so how long before I'm back in the 180s?? *sigh*

I decided to try something else. I'm back on the NS plan, 1200 calories or so and this time I'm not exercising. After three days I got back down to 179! so there is something going on. I apparently need to eat more if I'm going to exercise but I have no idea what or how much.

Since I'm not a fan of exercising to begin with, I'm going to hold off for a while and see how low I can get my weight on just diet alone. I feel like I'm doing something totally wrong and that I MUST be exercising.. but the scale is telling me I'm on the right track for the moment...

but then again it told me I was on the right track when I stopped eating after 7 (lasted two days) and again when I increased my calories (again, about two days) so we'll see. This is my last attempt to do this with out paying money to see a nutritionist..

I recently tried to place an order at netrition.com for some SF syrups that I put in my morning smoothie as I'm almost out and my local TJMaxx doesn't have any instock at the moment.. well I had everything in my cart, ran to the bathroom, came back, and my cart was half empty. The syrups I wanted to order were removed because "it's too cold" to ship them. apparently bottles are breaking due to the cold weather. *sigh* I suppose that is a good thing, it was just annoying that if I had been just a little quicker I could have gotten my order..

Btw.. Happy Birthday DH.

if it isn't one scale, its the other

Well, for the past few weeks, my scale has been creaping up and up and up. Originally my original scale was two pounds lighter than my 'new' scale. then it was pretty much even, then it was two pounds heaver, then four, now five.. So I've given up on the "original' scale and am now weighing on the "new" scale. which has me at 180.5 Annoying that the original scale was more interesting tha than the new one. Meaning if I waited, and went pee, etc it would give me a lower number. the new scale says "tough noogies! you were 180.5 before you went to the bathroom, you are 180.5 now.. get used it!!"

I also think I am going to give up on trying to lose this weight on my own and am going to look for a diatictian to find out why I can't pull these last 20-30 lbs off me. 30 because I want to weigh 150, 20 because I fear I have 10lbs of loose skin on me and I'm not really going to get anywhere near 150 with out surgery.

Still trying to decide if I really want surgery. I mean honestly I do. I VERY much want it, and I want it RIGHT NOW! I figure if they can take 30lbs off me, I'd be beyond thrilled..

but there is the cost, the recovery, the potential for death, etc.. not to mention the scars. being the pasty white chick I am, I show scars for YEARS! The keloid scar I got on my chest in the early 90's is just now starting to fade and I'm no longer asked if I just burned myself with a curling iron. I guess while I don't like the idea of scars, I'd rather put up with 5 to 10 years of ugly scars instead of 40-50 years of flabby arms.. but again, that isn't the only issue is it? I should probably consult with a dermatoligist, and a plastic surgeon and see what my reasonable options are.

Going on a little jaunt this weekend out of town. Nothing big. Hope to do a little shopping, maybe hit Trader Joe's..

also noticed that once again, I'm wearing black pants and a black top. I hate it when I do that. I feel like Emo girl. I never intend to do it. I put on a nice bright colored top, but then figuring that wouldn't be warm enough I grabbed a sweatshirt and I realized as I put on my coat (yes black) that once again I am head to toe black. arrrgh! I have NO idea why it is so hard for me to wear anything with black but black!

185

and yes I am going to scream.

although I know why I'm that high. I got a lousy night's sleep on monday, and it always makes me gain weight, and it always takes about a week to get it off.

I signed up at a website the other week called http://www.thedailyplate.com It recomends that I eat a lot more food than I have been lately. I thought what the heck, maybe I'm in starvation mode, lets eat more and see what happens. Well immediately my weight went down. Saw 179.5 again.. I was THRILLED!! but then life happened, and I was back up over 182. If it isn't one thing it is another. but I'm journally just about everything I eat (if I steal one chip from by DH's dinner, I don't record that, but if I steal five I do) I'm having a hard time getting in enough calories.. so I'm having a second breakfast and an additional snack most days.. I feel like I'm feasting. I'm going to give this a few weeks to work and if I can't get under 179 again in the next few weeks, I'm going to go see a professional - a nutritionist or something to find out what is going on - and then at least I'll have a journal of foods I'm eating so she can tell me it is the cookie I sneak every couple of days, or the chocolate festivle I went to instead of eating lunch *hangs head* but hey! I was under calories for that day too - and I was pretty good at recording all the odd bits I ate.

I'm so tired and exhausted, and we are having a snow day tomorrow. I think I'll just call out on a count of snow and stay home and sleep, exercise and bake valentine day goodies :)

Oh, btw, I sold my car! I was sad to see it go, it was a good car, but I hadn't driven it since November, it was time. and frankly, I am glad to have it finished. that was one thing that has been stuck on my "to do" list since November and it was driving me insane. After the woman said she wanted it, I was stressed out of my gourd thinking it would fall through. I was so stressed and so blue that I just kept telling myself to hold on, that it would be done in a few days.. and I do feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders..

did I mention I'm tired.. zzzzzz