rant rant rant..

White House seeks to protect health-care workers who object to abortion

Ok, seriously...


Conservative groups, abortion opponents and some members of Congress are welcoming the initiative as necessary to safeguard doctors, nurses and other health workers who, they say, are increasingly facing discrimination because of their beliefs or are being coerced into delivering services they find repugnant

Seriously?? so WTF are you doing in this line of work then?? working in places where this is doled out as a matter of course, because IT IS LEGAL I don't work in a bar because I find smoking, sports and alchol repugnant.. so what.. if this passes, you think I should go apply to work in a bar and then bitch because I find all the activities there repugnant, and ask congress and the White House to change the rules for me??


arrgh!

Now granted, the situations are slightly different, as abortion is the ending of life, or potential life - depending on how you look at it. but NOTHING makes these people work there. There are clinics and other areas of the hospital that you can work at where abortion and birth control are not part of the norm.

ya know.. I never really did like W as president.. no solid reason, just didn't feel right.. but now I have a solid reason.. this is inane.

I am HUNGRY!

arrgh.

two more days till I see my DR. again. I'm so flippingly and achingly exhausted all the time, I don't even want to go to work because I know I'll end up sitting here aching. which I am.

Since I decided to cut back on exercising, I've cut back on food. My body is protesting, and all I can do is think about food.. but I'm going to be good.. I saw 184 for the first time last week in over a couple of months.. I'm not tired due to a lack of food.. so I'm not going to self medicate and over feed my body.. no matter what lies it tells me.

*headtable*

I just want to go home and go to bed..

Four more hours today, 9 tomorrow, and then four on friday.. I can do this..

arrgh

Ok, so I am completely lost. I give up. I'm just going to save my pennies and get a full body lipo..

So I followed the nutritionists suggestions, even though she wanted me to stop eating several hours before I went to bed. So many experts have said that there is no validity in that.. but then again I've been eating 1200-1400 calories every day for the past year and not lost weight.. so something was up.

Now my weight fluctuates all over the place, and that's ok. By following her plan, I seemed to trend downward.. I saw 185 which I hadn't in a while.. ok.. but I was hungry a lot.. I don't like being hungry.. which of course led to this past weekend's complete blow out. Chips and goodies all over the place.

Of course there are other factors. I rehomed my foster cat who I was falling in love with. and I have been so obnoxiously tired for the past few months, but it has really started coming to a head these past few weeks. I mean joint aching muscle fatigue tired.. been up for three days straight tired. Sunday I slept almost the entire day, got up at about 5, went to the grocery store, came home, dropped dead into the bed and slept all night long.

Ive decided to cut my calories back to 1200 (nutritionist said if I exercise I should have 1500ish) and not exercise. Maybe I'm over doing it and my body just needs a break??? (no, I don't really believe this, but by removing the exercise I can sleep a little later.)

I went to the dr's last friday and had blood drawn. Testing several things to see if it is any of the big things that fatigue is an indicator of. Part of me hopes it isn't any of them (ok well maybe the Vit D deficiency I could handle) but part of me hopes it is, so I can get treatment and get over this. I do NOT want to have CFS.. although I've always kinda secretly wished I had it.. cause it is such a cool idea.. but there is no treatment, and I do not want to live my life like this!!

I'm at work and my joints started aching early.. I so just want to go home take a hot bath and go to bed.. but I can't fathom saying to my boss, yea.. I'm tired, can I go home?? *rolls eyes* mostly cause i know I'll be tired again tomorrow too.. so where does it end?

Next friday I get my test results back, I'll go from there. Till then, caffeine my old friend, you and I will be spending some time together..

HFCS

So, the evil thing in the world next to trans-fat and MSG, is HFCS.

If you listen to the proponents, HFSC is the saviour of prepackaged foods.. cheap, efficient, easy, etc http://www.hfcsfacts.com/

Listen to the naysayers http://www.femhealth.com/dangersofhfcs.html you'll think it is responsible for the fattening of America and the increased incidents of diabetes..

Well honestly, I believe HFCS is cheap and efficient, and saves money and makes food cheaper, and I don't believe HFCS is the sole reason of the health ills of America.

However, what I can tell you is my own experience with it. I know full well when I'm eating food with a high HFCS content. How? well frankly I'm starving with a full belly! I eat a huge meal, and all I want to do is shove more food in my mouth.

Found myself in that position on Friday.. My dietitian suggested I eat regular ol salad dressing instead of low fat/calorie. So I pulled out a bottle of italian dressing my husband had been using, and ate that for two days.. OMG it just about killed me (mentally, not physically) I was trying to be so good and follow the new recommendations (even though I did not like them) and once again there was this pit in my stomach.

I know i've blogged about this before.. my orange salad dressing fiasco.. but I've now resolved never to eat anything that has HFCS in the first six ingredients..

and I resolved to blog about it.. wanna hear it, read the post again :D

food food food food food

ugh.. all I can think about is food.. this is agony!!

I went to the nutritionist last night, and she made tiny recommendations.. eating every four hours instead of splitting up my meals and eating every two as I had been, and eating about 300 calories more per day than I have been.. so I get to eat more, but less often.

So I had my shake early in the AM.. usually I don't have it till I leave for work.. this was a PITA, but not as bad as I thought it would be. Usually if I eat too early, I'm starving all day. so I had that just after 7. Got through till almost 11 before I had my breakfast bar. I'm trying to get to between 1-2 for my lunch.. it is 12:43 now..

wait a minute.. this won't be every four hours either.. sigh I don't know what I'm doing.. Maybe I'll just eat at 1, and be done with it..

I've been on an upswing. and got up to 187 yesterday. This morning I was at 186.5 but it was at 7am.. so who knows what I would have been if I waited till 8:30ish like I usually do (which is why I usually wait to eat breakfast)

ugh.. if this works it will be worth it, and i can get back to my regular schedual of food.. of course if I stay on this long enough, maybe I'll get used to it (yea.. right.. )