Ok, seriously, someone please explain my dreams to me! Why on earth did I dream my fire alarm went off?? I was in the middle of some murder mystery dream where I was either Mr. P or Ms. U (don't ask, I don't know) and I was awakened, heart pounding, scared out of my gourd (yes, a house fire is one of those things that terrify me down to my atoms) at first I thought that maybe it was just a battery warning (because while my smoke alarms are hard wired, they have battery back up) but I did not hear it again upon awakening.. *sigh*
Ollie is at the vet today. I'm willing myself to be calm and remember this is all going to be ok. It was working, but it is getting harder and harder to do as the day goes on.
10.28.2008
10.27.2008
*sigh*
well my weight is up.. way up. *hangs head* I'm back on plan, and we'll see what happens.. Exercising is difficult because I have so many morning chores now, and sleeping hasn't been that easy.
What really gets me is I'm sweating a lot at night. I don't know why, as I'm never all that hot, heck, I'm not even all that warm when I wake up. Sometimes I'm soaked, sometimes not. (Ok the sheets are) what is killer is when I'm all sweaty, there is no going back to sleep. I'm all damp and the sheets are sticking to me, and it is COLD (fresh air on sweaty skin is cold)
But the dr says I'm healthy, even though I'm exhausted and cold all the time..
I had a bizarre dream this morning. I was at my current house, and there was a loud droaning noise. Turned out to be the engine from Air Force One being flown up in the air to refuel. (yes, just the engine compartment, not the whole airplane. I never said my dreams made sense)
What really gets me is I'm sweating a lot at night. I don't know why, as I'm never all that hot, heck, I'm not even all that warm when I wake up. Sometimes I'm soaked, sometimes not. (Ok the sheets are) what is killer is when I'm all sweaty, there is no going back to sleep. I'm all damp and the sheets are sticking to me, and it is COLD (fresh air on sweaty skin is cold)
But the dr says I'm healthy, even though I'm exhausted and cold all the time..
I had a bizarre dream this morning. I was at my current house, and there was a loud droaning noise. Turned out to be the engine from Air Force One being flown up in the air to refuel. (yes, just the engine compartment, not the whole airplane. I never said my dreams made sense)
10.12.2008
archway cookies are evil
I bought a bag of archway iced molassas cookies.. OMG.. they remind me so much of Christmas cookies of my youth.. I easily could eat the whole bag and not even realize it.
nom nom nom
I also bought some squirrel nut zippers, and some mint julip chews from Necco.. and knew this post was a comin
nom nom nom
I also bought some squirrel nut zippers, and some mint julip chews from Necco.. and knew this post was a comin
10.08.2008
racisim.
Ok, full disclosure. I am a lily white girl in a lily white world. I have very little contact with anyone of any color, creed, or race other than white where I am.
Another fact to know before I start this post. only 20% of America is .. (wondering which is politically correct at the moment) African American... aka someone with black skin. (cause aren't there people with black skin from other areas?)
anyway.
a few things popped up in my life lately that made me look at my views on racisim again. One was an article about why a woman was supporting Obama (the same article had a woman supporting McCain and was pro-life because she totally enjoyed giving birth.. um.. yea.. ok. you like something so you need to force it on the rest of us.. gotcha) (ok so my feelings on that are much more involved, but that is a different post)
she was supporting Obama because she identified with his mix racial background. They went into her background, and how she was an outsider because of her race. How she stood out, was teased, and made fun of because she was different.
So that's racism? So then what I went through at school.. what was that? I was teased, tortured, made fun of, had my possessions stolen, and basically went through hell because I was red headed and 'larger' than my class mates. I went through a growth spurt that made me 5'7" when all my class mates were barely hitting 5"
I was different. I was an outcast. So was that racisim? couldn't be, we were all of the same race.
But it is racism when your being different is because you are of a different race. So that makes what she went through worse than what I went through?? why? how? because it has a name? I would think that something that doesn't have a name, that isn't defendable in any way shape or form would be worse. Like being ill and not having a diagnosis. Can't cure what you don't know you have..
*sigh*
so many people are quick to jump on the racisim bandwagon. Oh I'm discriminated against because I'm (fill in the blank here) that's the reason why people don't treat me right. They are all evil and I'm just SOL.
people are just evil. what ever your blank is that you think people are discriminating you for, it doesn't matter. We all are discriminated against for one thing or another.. too tall, too black, too fat, too pretty, too ugly, too short,
no one is normal.
no one.
normal is a fallicy. it is a bell curve, we all fall on one side or the other.
the other show I watched was "Cold Case" about two young girls who became friends, one black, one white, in the 70s. there was some clear discrimination in that show. Blatenly not liking them because they were black. (but again, I was blatenly not liked because I was too tall and heavier than the rest of the girls.. so ...) the brother of the black girl was assumed to have hurt the white girl (who was the victom of this show) because he was seen in the yard. He was questioned for hours at a time. He denied absolutely everything. but come to find out in the show, he was in the back yard.
that happens a lot in the crime shows I watch. Black people denying everything, because the small part that they did have that got them involved in the investigation they deny. Seems to me that if there was evidince of something you did and you deny it that you are just asking for more trouble.
Now a lot of these crime shows also show how police used to jump to conclusions and would force confessions etc. So I suppose i can't deny the reasoning behind denying it back then.
and I can't deny the anger and resentment of knowing this used to occur. I know I'm still reluctant to believe in change in people who treated me badly in the past.
But I do know change happens.
so where is the answer.
and when does the inane behavior of people to tease and taunt that which is different from them change from human behavior to the more evil status of "racisim"
All questions for the ages I guess.
I only hope and pray that those holding on to the pain of being judged for the color of their skin or the size of their body don't pass that pain on to the next generation (although I know it has) or the next. Let us get past the pain of what our forfathers did. and what our parents generation did...
Luke 6:31
"Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them."
In addition, the Dalai Lama has stated:
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion
Confucius said in the Analects:
"Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself." - Analects XV.24, tr. David Hinton
In his Last Sermon, the Prophet Muhammad cautioned believers:
"Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you"
Rabbi Akiba emphasized the importance of Leviticus 19:18.
Thou shalt not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself
Another fact to know before I start this post. only 20% of America is .. (wondering which is politically correct at the moment) African American... aka someone with black skin. (cause aren't there people with black skin from other areas?)
anyway.
a few things popped up in my life lately that made me look at my views on racisim again. One was an article about why a woman was supporting Obama (the same article had a woman supporting McCain and was pro-life because she totally enjoyed giving birth.. um.. yea.. ok. you like something so you need to force it on the rest of us.. gotcha) (ok so my feelings on that are much more involved, but that is a different post)
she was supporting Obama because she identified with his mix racial background. They went into her background, and how she was an outsider because of her race. How she stood out, was teased, and made fun of because she was different.
So that's racism? So then what I went through at school.. what was that? I was teased, tortured, made fun of, had my possessions stolen, and basically went through hell because I was red headed and 'larger' than my class mates. I went through a growth spurt that made me 5'7" when all my class mates were barely hitting 5"
I was different. I was an outcast. So was that racisim? couldn't be, we were all of the same race.
But it is racism when your being different is because you are of a different race. So that makes what she went through worse than what I went through?? why? how? because it has a name? I would think that something that doesn't have a name, that isn't defendable in any way shape or form would be worse. Like being ill and not having a diagnosis. Can't cure what you don't know you have..
*sigh*
so many people are quick to jump on the racisim bandwagon. Oh I'm discriminated against because I'm (fill in the blank here) that's the reason why people don't treat me right. They are all evil and I'm just SOL.
people are just evil. what ever your blank is that you think people are discriminating you for, it doesn't matter. We all are discriminated against for one thing or another.. too tall, too black, too fat, too pretty, too ugly, too short,
no one is normal.
no one.
normal is a fallicy. it is a bell curve, we all fall on one side or the other.
the other show I watched was "Cold Case" about two young girls who became friends, one black, one white, in the 70s. there was some clear discrimination in that show. Blatenly not liking them because they were black. (but again, I was blatenly not liked because I was too tall and heavier than the rest of the girls.. so ...) the brother of the black girl was assumed to have hurt the white girl (who was the victom of this show) because he was seen in the yard. He was questioned for hours at a time. He denied absolutely everything. but come to find out in the show, he was in the back yard.
that happens a lot in the crime shows I watch. Black people denying everything, because the small part that they did have that got them involved in the investigation they deny. Seems to me that if there was evidince of something you did and you deny it that you are just asking for more trouble.
Now a lot of these crime shows also show how police used to jump to conclusions and would force confessions etc. So I suppose i can't deny the reasoning behind denying it back then.
and I can't deny the anger and resentment of knowing this used to occur. I know I'm still reluctant to believe in change in people who treated me badly in the past.
But I do know change happens.
so where is the answer.
and when does the inane behavior of people to tease and taunt that which is different from them change from human behavior to the more evil status of "racisim"
All questions for the ages I guess.
I only hope and pray that those holding on to the pain of being judged for the color of their skin or the size of their body don't pass that pain on to the next generation (although I know it has) or the next. Let us get past the pain of what our forfathers did. and what our parents generation did...
Luke 6:31
"Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them."
In addition, the Dalai Lama has stated:
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion
Confucius said in the Analects:
"Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself." - Analects XV.24, tr. David Hinton
In his Last Sermon, the Prophet Muhammad cautioned believers:
"Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you"
Rabbi Akiba emphasized the importance of Leviticus 19:18.
Thou shalt not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself
10.03.2008
Dear Mrs Palin
I want you to know that in your attempts to be "down home" and "one of the average people" you have seriously offended me.
I am in the "Middle Class". I am married, own my own home, work a full time job, and honestly living the American dream.
I am NOT a mom, nor a do I like hockey. (nor soccer, but that was a different election) I'm NOT (nor is my husband) Joe Six-pack. We don't drink, we don't buy six-packs, and we don't subscribe to the stereo types that these 'labels' imply.
Labeling all of middle America as Joe six-pack and hockey mom, you are alienating a HUGE segment of the population. About 20% of the population is child-less (or child-free depending on how one chooses to look at it) More than a third don't drink at all!! (wow.. really? I always feel so alone when I say I don't drink)
Get out of your box. Look at America for what it is. It is a little more complex than your labels.
May I recommend a book for you to read?
I had such hopes when you joined the ticket. I gave you a chance, and another. But now I'm pretty sure I'm done. I doubt you'll change your views and open your mind. Live in your own little world, but I will not vote for you to run mine.
I am in the "Middle Class". I am married, own my own home, work a full time job, and honestly living the American dream.
I am NOT a mom, nor a do I like hockey. (nor soccer, but that was a different election) I'm NOT (nor is my husband) Joe Six-pack. We don't drink, we don't buy six-packs, and we don't subscribe to the stereo types that these 'labels' imply.
Labeling all of middle America as Joe six-pack and hockey mom, you are alienating a HUGE segment of the population. About 20% of the population is child-less (or child-free depending on how one chooses to look at it) More than a third don't drink at all!! (wow.. really? I always feel so alone when I say I don't drink)
Get out of your box. Look at America for what it is. It is a little more complex than your labels.
May I recommend a book for you to read?
I had such hopes when you joined the ticket. I gave you a chance, and another. But now I'm pretty sure I'm done. I doubt you'll change your views and open your mind. Live in your own little world, but I will not vote for you to run mine.
10.02.2008
If I were in Michigan...
I'd be ticked..
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081002/ap_on_el_pr/mccain
"In major concession, McCain gives up on Michigan "
Ok, so you can't win, so lets now ignore an entire state.
Oh wait. I'm in a state with almost no say in the election. No one campaigns here anyway.. Hey Michigan, come join the "party"
*rolls eyes*
now this is why I wish we had a populous vote, instead of this stupid electoral college.
of course if we did.. how many more millions or billions of dollars would the campaigns cost?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081002/ap_on_el_pr/mccain
"In major concession, McCain gives up on Michigan "
Ok, so you can't win, so lets now ignore an entire state.
Oh wait. I'm in a state with almost no say in the election. No one campaigns here anyway.. Hey Michigan, come join the "party"
*rolls eyes*
now this is why I wish we had a populous vote, instead of this stupid electoral college.
of course if we did.. how many more millions or billions of dollars would the campaigns cost?
10.01.2008
the "bail out"
OMG.. I just read a post about the bail out and how this person thinks that the goverment should just give the money to people to pay off their mortages.. WTF? how on earth is that a good thing?
His thought was this would "free up" money in the banks for more loans.
Ok yes, I can see that, but how on earth am I (as a tax payer who is paying off this loan) going to get my money back??
I'm not! the only one who benfits from that are people who made bone headed decisions in the first place. The person who took out the loan and the bank that made it. and it gives them more money to make more bone headed loans. I, as a reasonable person who took out a loan I could afford, am going to pay for something I get no benefit from! that doesn't seem right to me.
I am for this bail out. Why? because all the economists Ive read are for it. Why? because we would be buying up a tangeable asset (loans) and that we could help the consumer out (lower interests) and we'd get the payments for those loans, so we'd still be making money now granted, chances are some people are not going to be able to make their payments no matter how low you make the interest rate. But lots will. By keeping people in their homes, you are going to help the housing market, and house prices will stabilize if not rise. So when those few loans default, we'll be able to sell those homes for most of the amount of the loan. We might be losing money, but we will not be losing the entire cost of the loan!!!!
too many people think this is throwing good money after bad. it is not! It is an investment.
Now I never agreed with the blank check request that was first made, with no rules or regulations or oversite. I'm all for the newer incarnations of the bill with it's stipulations not only for the oversite, but for the banks participating.
heck, while I'm on this soap box, let me talk about these "golden parachutes" that the CEOs have been making. I'm apauled. I hate them. None of the companies I am invested in has them. If they did, I'd be standing up and saying that a leaving bonus is fine as long as the company is in the same or better shape when when the CEO joined if the company is in worse shape, that leaving bonus should be forfit. Would be an incentive to the CEO to keep things going, or cut his losses and get out if he realizes that the company is in trouble and he can't fix it. Getting someone out who can't fix a problem seems like a pretty good idea to me. The share holders of these companies are to blame for not balking sooner. For agreeing to go along with these contracts from the get go. Companies have been using them for decades.. the shareholder should have balked long before this. They didn't. It is their own fault.
Now that the shareholders are ticked, I'm sure this is the last we'll see of them. It is too bad that it took this kind of fiasco to wake people up to these inane practices. I'm all for paying a qualified person a good sum for doing a difficult and demanding job, but to pay them to leave?? that just makes no sence!
His thought was this would "free up" money in the banks for more loans.
Ok yes, I can see that, but how on earth am I (as a tax payer who is paying off this loan) going to get my money back??
I'm not! the only one who benfits from that are people who made bone headed decisions in the first place. The person who took out the loan and the bank that made it. and it gives them more money to make more bone headed loans. I, as a reasonable person who took out a loan I could afford, am going to pay for something I get no benefit from! that doesn't seem right to me.
I am for this bail out. Why? because all the economists Ive read are for it. Why? because we would be buying up a tangeable asset (loans) and that we could help the consumer out (lower interests) and we'd get the payments for those loans, so we'd still be making money now granted, chances are some people are not going to be able to make their payments no matter how low you make the interest rate. But lots will. By keeping people in their homes, you are going to help the housing market, and house prices will stabilize if not rise. So when those few loans default, we'll be able to sell those homes for most of the amount of the loan. We might be losing money, but we will not be losing the entire cost of the loan!!!!
too many people think this is throwing good money after bad. it is not! It is an investment.
Now I never agreed with the blank check request that was first made, with no rules or regulations or oversite. I'm all for the newer incarnations of the bill with it's stipulations not only for the oversite, but for the banks participating.
heck, while I'm on this soap box, let me talk about these "golden parachutes" that the CEOs have been making. I'm apauled. I hate them. None of the companies I am invested in has them. If they did, I'd be standing up and saying that a leaving bonus is fine as long as the company is in the same or better shape when when the CEO joined if the company is in worse shape, that leaving bonus should be forfit. Would be an incentive to the CEO to keep things going, or cut his losses and get out if he realizes that the company is in trouble and he can't fix it. Getting someone out who can't fix a problem seems like a pretty good idea to me. The share holders of these companies are to blame for not balking sooner. For agreeing to go along with these contracts from the get go. Companies have been using them for decades.. the shareholder should have balked long before this. They didn't. It is their own fault.
Now that the shareholders are ticked, I'm sure this is the last we'll see of them. It is too bad that it took this kind of fiasco to wake people up to these inane practices. I'm all for paying a qualified person a good sum for doing a difficult and demanding job, but to pay them to leave?? that just makes no sence!
another weird dream
this one was a doozie.
I was walking down the street. It was a deserted section of some long ago left behind main street. There were empty shops and window boxes that only held dirt. As I was walking I was looking in windows and taking in the sites. I saw an old barrel planter that had a dead puppy in it. It look like he crawled in there to find a soft place to sleep and just didn't wake up. He had cob webs over him. I was shocked, but not horribly upset. Sad yes, but these things happen. So I looked in the window of the shop that he was outside of, and saw another dead dog, and then another. I moved to get a better look and saw a large aquarium with three dead tigers in it. Now I was shocked. everything looked like they were recently dead because of the good shape they were in, but the spider webs were everywhere.
All of a sudden, one of the dogs stirred slightly. I peered in the window harder to see if he really moved. I saw him move again, and then the tigers started moving. I was stunned, and then had to find these animals help. I pulled out my cell phone (no I don't own one in real life) and ran up the hill to call the police. I was trying to explain where I was and what was going on. I started calling off road signs and signs on buildings. none of them were recognizable to my real life, until I turned around and saw the playhouse. I called that off, and the person on the other end of the phone immediately knew where I was and was off to help. I was shocked at the recognition of the playhouse and woke up.
The site of starving and dying animals in my dream kept me up for hours. I watched Boston Legal. Could not get up this morning. *sigh* scale was not kind either. I had a 500 calorie deficite and some how I was up a pound. I'm really ready to give up. I feel like I'm trying to move a mountain.
Not like there are a hell of a lot of resources around here for help either. I went to a nutritionist, and she did not tailor anything to me. Just spouted off the already established nutritional information. makes me want to cry
I was walking down the street. It was a deserted section of some long ago left behind main street. There were empty shops and window boxes that only held dirt. As I was walking I was looking in windows and taking in the sites. I saw an old barrel planter that had a dead puppy in it. It look like he crawled in there to find a soft place to sleep and just didn't wake up. He had cob webs over him. I was shocked, but not horribly upset. Sad yes, but these things happen. So I looked in the window of the shop that he was outside of, and saw another dead dog, and then another. I moved to get a better look and saw a large aquarium with three dead tigers in it. Now I was shocked. everything looked like they were recently dead because of the good shape they were in, but the spider webs were everywhere.
All of a sudden, one of the dogs stirred slightly. I peered in the window harder to see if he really moved. I saw him move again, and then the tigers started moving. I was stunned, and then had to find these animals help. I pulled out my cell phone (no I don't own one in real life) and ran up the hill to call the police. I was trying to explain where I was and what was going on. I started calling off road signs and signs on buildings. none of them were recognizable to my real life, until I turned around and saw the playhouse. I called that off, and the person on the other end of the phone immediately knew where I was and was off to help. I was shocked at the recognition of the playhouse and woke up.
The site of starving and dying animals in my dream kept me up for hours. I watched Boston Legal. Could not get up this morning. *sigh* scale was not kind either. I had a 500 calorie deficite and some how I was up a pound. I'm really ready to give up. I feel like I'm trying to move a mountain.
Not like there are a hell of a lot of resources around here for help either. I went to a nutritionist, and she did not tailor anything to me. Just spouted off the already established nutritional information. makes me want to cry
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