do you look?

I was watching a tv show on obesity last night, and it was commented on several times how rude people are in regards to obese people.

One clip enhanced what one person said - which was pretty rude, but also factual. It was something along the lines of 'omg look how fat that person is' blunt, a little on the rude side, but not derogatory..

another clip showed a think skinny blond woman taking a furtive glance behind her at the obese person as she walked by.

these were the clips they had to show how hard life is for the obese.

Now, let me stick this disclaimer in there.. I'm 5'7" and at one point I was 270lbs.. so I think I qualify as someone who once fit into this category. So basically what I'm saying is I think I'm in the clear commenting on this.

Where those the best two examples of how rude people can be? not at all. I've seen a whole heck of a lot worse on other shows. People making derogatory comments, making noises, remarking that someone that fat shouldn't be allowed out and about, etc.

What I want to know, is when is it ok to look? I mean we don't live in a vacuum. There are things that interest us, and we want to know more. Why is sometimes that is ok, and sometimes that is wrong??

What I'm getting at is gawking, man watching, girl watching, etc, these are acceptable past times. Sitting on the porch step and watching the world go by.. well who is the world if not other people. And how do you get to know other people if you can't look at them?

so why does looking at an obese person classify as rude? and if you deliberately NOT look at them, aren't you being just as rude if not more so (I'm not speaking in a direct face to face interaction - which if you didn't look at the person would be rude)

so looking at something pleasing to the eye is ok, but looking at a "deformity" isn't? but then again, aren't pumped up muscle men and supermodels also 'deformity' I mean honestly, they do not conform to the norm.

Its sad. So very very sad that being overweight is an acceptable prejudice. you are almost supposed to make fun of the overweight.. they are asking for it aren't they? I mean they keep shoving the food in their mouths they must want us to tell them to stop. *sigh* it is just shameful.

in America's "melting pot" it is a shame there is no room for those that are different.

and yes. I look. I'm curious and I'm interested. I wish it were ok to ask about a difference that someone else lives with, whether it was being overweight, autism, a missing limb or being a dwarf (is dwarf PC?) I am sure these people have something to teach me about living with a difficulty. I mean honestly, aren't we all living a difficult life? just some of our difficulties are more obvious than others.

alligators and angels

yup, another weird night of dreaming last night. I remember walking in a over grown swamp area. I was looking for something. I don't remember why, there was more to this dream prior but I'm not sure what. I walked down a dirt road and saw a run down house. I walked toward it, but before I got to the door it opened with a creek and an old grissled huntched man invited me in and offered me a seat. He turned and went to shut a window, and I noticed the hunch on his back was actually a concrete block under his shirt. I asked about the rumor that he was related to the allegators, and a very large allegator came out from the other room and lunged at me. the man calmly introduced me to his uncle. I was quite frightened, and woke up. as I got out of bed to go to the bathroom, my mind started singing "In the arms of the angel" So bizzare.

I couldn't get back to sleep, so I laid around watching law and order for a while. Then this morning I had another odd dream. I got on an overly packed school bus. I walked past a few seats that had someone in them, and got to the back of the bus. There was a seat that had a back pack and some crutches in them. I suggested they be moved, and no one offered so I lifted them up and sat down. At that point they realized there was not enough room on the bus, so a few other larger items were put in the back of the bus, including a few instrument cases. One was placed right in front of me. It was in a new fangled case that was covered in a red fabric. I reached out and felt the fabric. I then pulled out a book, and was reading it, and came across a story in it that I felt was very important that the people on the bus hear. we were stopped close to our destination, and I went to the front of the bus and made a statement that everyone should hear about this. I started reading it, but the words I were reading made absolutely no sence to me. I have no idea if I was speaking english or some bizzaro language. There was no reaction from the people around me. they were bored. I closed the book and got off the bus. three other guys got off with me, and we went into a home. we turned to the right and went up to a bed room. One of the guys started playing xbox. another joined. I started flirting with the third, wanting to start something, but he was more interested in something else. I saw myself in the mirror and I looked male, but with a mullet that went down to the middle of my back. I tried again with the boy, but he just was not intersted - although I had the feeling that there was history between us. I left that room and went to the left into another room. Someone there asked me about the information in the book, and I explained it was about a person who was being stupid and burned the skin on the back of the hand. I showed my left hand and pointed out where the burn was, and you could see the scar on my hand. I remembered the swelling, and now my hand was swollen. I picked slightly at the skin near my thumbnail,. and it came off in my hand. I tried to put it back and wrap it up. I left and went outside, and there were recently planted trees and flowers that needed to be watered. It was dark outside, but I found a spiggot and tried to get the water to the plants with out a bucket or can. someone came to help me, and that's when I woke up.

Yes.. I'm bizzare

dreams

Last night I had a dream that my husband and I were staying in a hotel / shelter. It was a first come first serve kind of place. pretty much flopping in a room in a house, making due with what you have. The first night we had two single beds. He came over and we started having s_x. I actually had an org_sm, which woke me up, but not enough to startle me out of the dream, because then I was back at the hotel, but alone this time. I was the last one in, and I had a room all to my self. Another group showed up, and they wanted me to switch with them. when I realized that switching with them meant I would have to sleep outside in the cold (and it was really freezing cold) I said no. I felt mean because I had the whole room to myself, but I got there in time and they didn't and I didn't want to freeze. I was all alone in this room when someone came up to me and started messing around with me, which kinda creeped me out and I woke up.


I had dreams the other night too, that I really wanted to remember in full detail, but forgot to blog about. The first one I was in a very large ornate old hotel. I was part of a group, and there was some upheaval and searching for someone else. not sure if I was part of the group searching for the bad guy, or searching for someone lost from our group. I ended up going out of the hotel onto the grounds, and noticed that we were backed up to a river. the river formed a perfect T intersection, like a road. looking closer at the river, it had a pool lining. I ended up in the water swimming and searching. I remember diving under and swimming underwater for a good length. I remembered the feel of the water, and the feel of bursting through the water coming up for air. which woke me up.

My next dream I was searching through the desert. High plains and dusty dirt roads led to an open stadium type area with bleachers carved out of the ground. People sat in the bleachers, looking out over... ??? no idea what they were watching. I felt uncomfortable just sitting there out in the open, so I moved through the people to the middle isle and walked up to the top of the hill (?) and walked towards the cliff. Off the cliff was (completely out of place) a very large lake that was quite lush with green trees and soft looking beaches. I very much wanted to get to the water, which woke me up.

Found it interesting I would have two dreams that were about searching that ended up at water. Not quite sure what it means.

Dreams

This one started out as I was the owner of an old Victorian type white house that was known to be magical. I wanted to keep the magic alive, but it seemed to be dying off in the eyes of the public. A new care taker was coming to help with the property, so I sat on top of the roof, and watched him walk toward the house. The guy was older, maybe late 50s or 60s. As I watched him approach, I set off some of the magical elements of the house, which were controlled with buttons. He was impressed.

I went down to meet him, and we walked and talked, and I met up with someone else who took me to meet some kids at a local rehab center. In there was a smaller greaser type dude. he had black hair, and was in the middle of a basketball game. My friend pointed him out to me, and I asked why? is he trouble? and my friend said no, he was / is an undercover agent trying to help these kids out.

we left the game, and walked along a boardwalk with amusements and games. It was crowded, so I was trying to avoid hitting anyone, but yet some how I ended up in an altercation with a short woman. When I looked at her, it turned out to be a girl I went to high school with "Buffy". Buffy went off, accusing me of deliberately trying to 'mow her down' and acting very macho. I was very confused, but getting more and more annoyed. She would not stop attacking me verbally and smacking me with her hands. Finally I grabbed her jacket collars and swung her forcibly but gently and laid her down on the ground, asking her if this is what she really wanted. She cowered and told me this was just like DC all over again. Which only confused me. I looked up at my friend trying to figure out what was going on, and Buffy kept going on about some field trip we took sophomore year to DC (RL: I took a school trip sophomore year but with the Band that Buffy was never in, but for the life of me can't remember where to)

My friend said it didn't matter, and to let everything go. I picked Buffy up, and said she was crazy, that nothing happened, and turned and left.

My friend and I continued on, turning down a street that ran along a wide river or inlet from the ocean. The river was to the right of us. Also to the right of us and facing us was a truck parked the wrong way. In the truck was the handy man from the beginning of the dream. Behind the truck was a canoe in the river. In the canoe was a very expensive looking shoe that I recognized as being VERY expensive. Something you would not leave laying around for any reason. I looked around and noticed the river was rising and starting to swell into the surrounding park. I looked at the canoe again, and it started to tip and the shoe floated out of the canoe and down the river. I asked my friend for a phone, but there wasn't one. I asked the old man in the truck, but he was just confused by the idea of portable phones, when one was slipped into my hand. I looked at the black phone and looked up at the black haired greaser dude from the game. I asked if he already dialed, but he just walked away. I put the phone up to my ear and realized he had. I yelled after him if he wanted the phone back, but he just kept walking and ignored me. The 911 operator came on the phone and I tried to describe what happened, but she didn't seem to care. I couldn't make her understand that a shoe floating down the river WAS important.. but then I hear sirens off in the distance and realized help was coming after all.