Acupuncture for weight loss

Been a long time since I talked about my weight.  Mostly because no matter what I do it goes up.  I also get frustrated with that and eat more.. I went to the dr about it, I bought a arm band device that measured my calorie burn and kept track of every calorie I ate (300-500 calorie deficit every friggen day) I had my blood drawn more times then I care to remember (of course more then once is more then I care to remember but still) and everything came back "normal".  But yet over the course of three years I've put on 30lbs.  I have clothes I can't wear any more.  It kills me.  it actually kills a little piece of my soul every time I get on the scale or try to put on an article of clothing I used to fit into.

I swear, I am trying (ok not recently, but up until recently (and by recently I mean a few weeks before acupuncture)) eating right, eating my fruits and veggies and whole grains, lean proteins, etc.  Exercising at LEAST 40 minutes a day.. every damn day.. it is not right.

The weight came on in clumps.  You know that night you go out and have pizza and the next morning you put on three pounds.  YOU know it is just water weight and it will disappear, well mine wouldn't.  If I wasn't exacting with my diet pop came the pounds.  Getting them off was a lesson in how NOT to diet.  I'd have to cut back to barely 1200 calories and exercise like a crazy person.  I knew it wasn't right nor was it healthy.  There has GOT to be a reason why this weight is holding on to me like a child to it's mother in a flood.  I was getting to the point where I was going to go and insist my dr put me on thyroid medication... i'm still not 100% sure I'm not going to do that, but a few weeks ago I saw a news segment about acupuncture for weight loss.

Since I've seen what acupuncture can do (a friend goes regularly, and I see a vet who does it and I've seen results on pets first hand) I thought I'd give it a shot.  Worst that could happen would be I would have one more thing I tried that didn't work.

First day was a bit of a disappointment.  K was kind enough to squeeze me in first thing in the morning, but then scheduled herself to be at an appointment 3/4 way through what the first session should have been (I was told the first appointment was 2 hours and it was barely an hour and a half)  I was surprised at how little I felt the needles (except the one in my wrist which caused my fingers to go numb, and when I tried to restore blood by moving my hand hurt like crazy) She also did cupping on my back that left HUGE red marks down either side of my spine.  She told me I would feel emotional, but I really didn't.  I left the first appointment with a huge craving for steak and for eggs.  I had eggs for dinner, and steak the next.  But my sugar cravings were through the roof.  I couldn't stop myself from walking to the kitchen to get *something*  I was eating the dregs of the kitchen.  I even ended up buying Twinkies (although they were the strawberry flavored ones and I was quite curious how they would taste - I tried the banana ones back when they were released) which is a HUGE sign my cravings are out of control because I don't much like Twinkies (which is so odd, as they seem to have everything that I like in other sweets.. but still)

Second visit, I explained I didn't feel much different save for the steak, eggs, sugar cravings and some pretty long lasting constipation (oh such a fun topic!  I don't mind talking about it, but I feel that who ever I am talking about it to really doesn't want to hear it and over coming that is kind of difficult)  So the second time she was a little more "aggressive" in the digestive tract.  She did the cupping again, and a few days later when I had the courage to look at my back I was clear.  Looking at two long hickey marks on your back is a little disconcerting, and a bit of a concern when dressing to make sure they don't show as I so did not want to explain it :D

Well this one hit home.  I felt like my digestive tract was moving pebbles from my stomach on down for two days (and oddly enough a little today - six days later)  the sugar cravings were a bit more manageable and I felt myself wanting healthy options for dinner - when usually I have to talk myself into them.  When you boil it all down, I felt horribly STUCK before this, and I think I can feel myself slowly working myself out of it.  I'm not amused at the cost, but if it gets me moving (in so many different areas in my life) it will be worth it.  I've also been pretty emotional this week.  I've been feeling a huge sense of loss.  Not so much grieving, but just that ache of loss.

I am not expecting miracles, and I'm not getting any, because despite feeling better this week by a few degrees, the scale went up two more pounds.  I though I would change up my exercise yesterday and walked on my treadmill instead of rebounding.  I started rebounding a few years ago, because my arm band told me it burned way more calories and I was way less taxed by it but I do believe the body needs to be taxed with new exercises every once in a while.  So I walked for 45 minutes and pulled a muscle in my leg.  Not quite sure how it happened as I only really noticed it when I got off.

I was afraid it would impede my work out this morning, but I did get it in (rebounding as walking did hurt) but I got through it.  Not vigorous, but adequate.

Now I'm at work, biding my time.  I so do not want to be here.  *sigh*  Not that I don't like my job, just some days it is so hard to sit in the cold office when it is such a nice warm day (and I am so drawn to the heat)   I've been putting off going to get the mail until the mid day so I'd get the most of the heat and sunshine, which is about now..

On a side note, I was having an emotional morning.  So I grabbed my Llama (I own a stuffed llama that is about the size of a beanie baby that is very cute and makes me smile) and off to work I went.  My convertible top was down, so I just threw my work stuff on the passenger seat and off I went.  While I was driving, I looked over and Llama was on the seat facing forward, sitting upright, wind blowing through the fur.  It was just the cutest thing and so adorable I couldn't help but laugh out loud.  I so wished I had a camera at the time.

Dream of my HSBF

I knew a girl in high school.  She was my maid of honor, but I wasn't even in her wedding party when she got married just a few years after.  Our friendship went just down hill from there mostly because she didn't even tell me that I wasn't going to be in the wedding, but made me ask.  I've seen her randomly over the years since then but surprisingly I've seen her sister more (who I actually also liked very much)

The other day randomly her thank you note for the wedding gift I gave her appeared out of nowhere.  It was just one of those things.  We moved a desk, and I am sure it was in there and then it probably fell out and under the couch, and then a cat probably pulled it out, but it was just so odd.

Now my dream last night was she was divorced,  and all too quickly she was remarrying someone else. It didn't feel like the marriage had anything to do with the divorce, but it was very quick, and had the feelings of someone throwing a quickie wedding.  I was there the night before the wedding, talking to her, and talking about arrangements, and caring for the cat (for some reason I put a second can of cat food down on the cat's food.. such an odd thing, as she was never a pet person) but once again I was not part of this wedding, and once again I had to ask.  I woke up before I responded to the slight, but it irritated me

I am sad our friendship didn't last, but I believe part of it was her upbringing.  She, like my mother, was a firm believer in "success" and boyfriends that weren't on the "fast track" were tossed aside even if they were good guys.  Unfortunately I really don't know her current husband, but from the random google searches I've done on her, she's gotten a few papers published and is some what of a known person in her field.  I'm sure if I hadn't left college to get married and published she would have made more of an effort to stay in touch with me, but then again would that have been me, or just another contact?  Yes, I'm cynical. but I think I've earned that with what I've put up with in the past.