ouch

A few days ago I woke up with a sore spot on my upper back (around the shoulder blade) and I figured I just slept wrong.  It happens.  But it didn't go away (it happens) and now it has moved into my neck.  I almost feel like I have a bit of whip lash.. it's just so bizarre.  But I know that when I hurt one ankle and favor it, the other foot starts hurting from over use, so I'm sure there is a bit of that going on.  I have my moments, sometimes it hurts more then others.

Had a full weekend.  Went out with family, invited more family over to visit, then went to an even bigger family function.  So unlike me. it went surprisingly well, but it did eat up a great deal of the weekend.

I stopped in at JCP also.  I bought a pair of sapphire earrings and a new shirt.  I wasn't thrilled with the quality of some of the clothing.. but I was impressed with the prices and not all of the clothing was painfully thin.  I so wish I was at my ideal weight (or even weight stable) so I could buy a whole new pretty wardrobe.. (although I'm sure if I had to buy a whole new wardrobe I'd be pulling my hair out trying to find pieces that worked - I know full well that the fantasy and the reality have very little to do with one another)  In time.

I did buy a Groupon to have my arms worked on.  I really need to get off my duff and get that scheduled.  I think I'm ready and will start that pretty quickly.  If they can shave a few inches off my arms I'll fit into a lot nicer clothing which will make me feel a bit less like a freak.  I know we all have issues fitting into premade clothing, but my thighs and my arms make it very difficult on my waist and my chest.    I'd be a lot happier if I only had one of those issues, and I can deal with my hips.. :)   This is going to be the non surgical option..  Since my arms are 16 inches or so, I don't think a few inches is unreasonable..

Being thankful

I spend a lot of my day cursing what isn't.  It annoys me I can't have everything I want when I want it - especially since I'm not asking for diamond crusted jewels or limos or being able to jet off to tropical destinations when it snows.  I want pants that fit, thighs that shrink instead of grow, to sleep through the night and to wake up refreshed and ready to go - seriously, I don't think that is unreasonable.

But

Then I see people talk about dealing with cancer, the death of loved ones, being homeless, being disabled, and I have to stop and remember that while a lot of my life falls short of the awesome department, there is a lot to be thankful for..

and it sucks that I have to actually REMIND MYSELF OF THAT!  arrgh.  I wish my brain were designed just to be glad I have a warm bed to lay in when I'm awake and can't sleep after a night mare.  Or that I have happy healthy kitties when they are pounding on my bladder or pulling my hair..

So I stop... I breathe.. and I remember the 10 or so not so nice aspects of my day or life should not out shadow the rest.

My job is boring, but I have one, and my boss is awesome.  I've had really cruddy bosses in the past, so yea! for that one.
I'm so friggen tired all the time, but I do have energy to do what I NEED to do.  I can power through and get most of the to-do list done each day.  bigger projects can wait, and they do wait very nicely for me... and how great is it that.  the world isn't going to fall apart if I don't finish cleaning up my office..

I'm also thankful for the cute little ol men who are out and about in my community.  (although I'm sure they'd object to be called cute little ol men) who hold the door open for me or other people.  Who are out with their wives and are sweet to them - holding their coats to put on, etc.  I missed out on having grandparents, and I just love seeing old men and old couples (but for some reason old women aren't dear to my heart) out and about.