Kelly Clarkson "Catching my Breath" lyrics..

I don't wanna be left behind
Distance was a friend of mine
Catching breath in a web of lies
I've spent most of my life
Riding waves, playing acrobat
Shadowboxing the other half
Learning how to react
I've spent most of my time

Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told it's supposed to be right

Catch my breath, no one can hold me back, I ain't got time for that
Catch my breath, won't let them get me down, it's all so simple now

Addicted to the love I found
Heavy heart, now a weightless cloud
Making time for the ones that count
I'll spend the rest of my time
Laughing hard with the windows down
Leaving footprints all over town
Keeping faith kinda comes around
I'll spent the rest of my life

Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told it's supposed to be right

Catch my breath, no one can hold me back, I ain't got time for that
Catch my breath, won't let them get me down, it's all so simple now

You helped me see
The beauty in everything

Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told it's supposed to be right

Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of this show
Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told what's supposed to be right

Catch my breath!

Catch my breath, no one can hold me back, I ain't got time for that
Catch my breath, won't let them get me down, it's all so simple now (it's all so simple now!)

Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told it's supposed to be right

Catch my breath, no one can hold me back, I ain't got time for that
Catch my breath, won't let them get me down, it's all so simple now

Ranting yet again

Once again I have run into a situation where I am just plain ol ticked.

The reasons and wherefores aren't all that important, and in the general scheme of things it really isn't that big of a deal, but it has once again hit upon that one fact of life that never seems to change.

Growing up, we are all taught to play fair, be nice, treat others well, play by the rules, etc.  I do my best to do so.  I do my best to be fair, open and honest.  Occasionally I fall short and I end up ticking someone off, but often it is because of a lack of information.  Either they didn't communicate the entire situation and left me to make assumptions or more rarely it is because of my preconceived notions of what I should be hearing/seeing/etc

But when I run across others who don't feel the need to "play by the rules" it just pisses me off.  Sadly I have been running across more and more people who feel they can and should do what they want.  They dismiss the concerns of others by dismissing their concerns / feelings with versions of "lighten up" "don't be a prude" or 'oh get over it' .. Why?

anxiety

I have been fighting some anxiety today pretty badly.  I know it isn't a good idea, I know I should just sit in a corner and let it wash over me and I won't have to deal with as much but I'm at work and sitting somewhere and having a break down really isn't an option.

I also think I can eat my way out of it.  but now it is 2.5 hours until work is over and i am out of food..

I didn't do any work yesterday.  I haven't done any work today.. I really really need to get over this and buckle down..

arrrgh.


Anyway, I suppose I should update you since the last post.  I am working on having no anxiety regarding food.  I am not having much luck.  I am trying to eat what I want when I want, but I am still finding that I say I should eat x or should have less y.  getting over an entire life of programming of 'good' foods and 'bad' foods is near impossible.

I am back up to my pre pre weight loss weight, and I am disgusted with it.  I am working on not being so, but that is hard as well.  once again a life time of what I 'should' look like has done it's damage.

I am also quite disgusted with what is going on in the news.  The former White House doctor making very direct and derogatory and defamatory statements about Governor Christie's weight.. I so hope he sues her.  I know he probably won't, but he should.  She should have kept her mouth shut and her opinions to herself.  if she wanted to rant about how unhealthy overweight people are in general, that is one thing, but to be so specific.. it is bullying in its worst form - period!

Then there was Rex Reed.. O.. M.. G.. what on earth was that jack hole thinking?? If you don't like Melissa McCarthy's acting, say that, but to use such horrid language to describe her body shape??  there just aren't words.  and what is worse is I am pretty sure there are a lot of people out there that agree with him.

Now I will admit I have a hard time seeing overweight people in the media.  Every time I catch myself having a reaction (I generally don't get to actual words) I have to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with someone being overweight in their position.  that it is wonderful to be diverse.  Not that we should promote being overweight as the ideal, but we also should not be promoting anorexia as the ideal - which is where we have been for far far too long.  Lest you think I am fat prejudice  please know I have a problem with most people who aren't "normal" and I will until it becomes the norm.  the first time I saw a person of color (she was black) i had the exact same reaction.   It isn't because I'm afraid or I think it is wrong, it is just different and unexpected.  Think of it this way, when you are sitting some where and loud noise happens, you react right?  It isn't because you hate the noise, it is because you weren't expecting it.

So haters just need to shut up and get used to it.  The world is currently getting fatter and fatter, and hating it is NOT going to to make it go away..